Women's legs in a car

Got a first date with someone? Congrats. But before you make dinner reservations and sprtiz on some cologne, make sure you understand that the following will ruin any future you have with the lucky lady:

1. Taking a girl to Sizzler and adding a side order of how your ex "used to this" and your ex "used to that" and then topping it off with a few longing looks at the waitress for dessert.

2. Going to the club and dancing behind her like a Backstreet Boy before asking if she wants to come up for a night cap of “do you give head?”

3. Inviting her over for dinner because you whipped up your famous video games a la carte so you can show off your sweet Tony Hawk sk8er tricks. 

4. Meeting for drinks at a bar and ordering another Old Fashioned “you got too drunk and revealed a bit much about yourself like that time you stole from your boss and lied on your college application.”

5. Going to the beach to enjoy the view of surf, sand, sun, and you checking your Instagram and Facebook every 5 minutes.

6. Taking a girl on a hike to hike your way into the no-fly, call, text or talk to again zone after you tell her you can see your future kids.

7. Grabbing coffee and ordering a tall, decaf, half-sweet, non-fat, no foam, soy “what religion are you and here’s why I'm right and you're wrong ” latte with an extra shot at 120 degrees. Oh, and chocolate sauce.

Tell a friend.

Heart-shaped balloons

Are you someone who celebrates every holiday Target sells festive sprinkles for in their dollar bins? Do you like chocolate? Do you love reasons to throw back some wine? If you answered yes to any of these questions, keep reading.

Valentine's Day is almost here, and I'm not really one for making reservations at some fancy restaurant or leaving my house on this day honestly (because I love stretchy pants), so I compiled a list of things you can do for Valentine's Day with your boyfriend, girlfriend, galentines, dogs, cats, or even just yourself, because you're worth it.


Girl in a red dress


1. Feeling indulgent? Go buy a big juicy burger, fries, and a shake, and binge watch trash TV (Here’s some recommendations in no particular order: The Bachelor with Juan Pablo, The Real World: Ex-Plosion, and/or Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, any season really).
2. Feeling indulgent but lazy? Go shopping…online so you can have your wine and drink it too. 
3. Want good company? Treat yo self to a huge helping of red wine and dark chocolate and invite your "friends" over... you know, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe and Ross...on Netflix!
4. Does Valentine's Day make you take a good hard look at yourself and make you ponder why you're single? No problem, this is nothing a little makeover can't fix and you can do it here for free without even getting dressed.
5. Feeling like you just really need to vent hard about all your ex's, their current girlfriends and so on? Awesome, let it out on a private Blogger account. Or make it public you daredevil you.
6. Feel like you need to talk to a real person, but are too embarrassed to tell your friends everything Valentine's Day makes you feel? Dogs do NOT judge.
7. Feeling dancy? Dance around in your living room a la that kid in Sia videos

8. You could go see 50 Shades of Grey...but how about 15 flavors of fro yo at Yogurtland instead?

9. Not impressed with this list? Still mad at your ex? Hate Valentine's Day and want to seek vengeance? Then glitter bomb that bastard.

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