“We” were something, or maybe not anything at all. We talked every day, texted every day and saw each other frequently on the weekends. We held hands.
But apparently that doesn't mean anything, at least from his end and from what I assume.
Although he was an attention seeking whore and immature half the time, something about him drew me in. It was definitely his charm.
He had a way to make you feel special. You know, the type that says the right words to slowly make you fall for him? With any small gesture, such as bringing you flowers to your meeting “just because” to make you fall deeper. And his responses were, “Because you deserved them” or “I just wanted to see you smile.”
There is too much history with him.
The saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Some lessons are to be taught more than once until you fully understand it. And that is what happened to me. I had to go through it twice, just twice thankfully, to understand to stay away from these types of boys. Yes, I said it: boy.
I allowed someone from my past back into my life again. And you would think that being older and wiser, you would know better. No. It was as if I was subconsciously digging my own grave. I felt like a fool. A total fool in the end.
Who likes too look stupid, right?
I was misled. Here I was thinking it could have gone somewhere; the potential to be something great, but it was simply wishful-thinking. Those are the worst. They set you up for hope and then, boom. It’s over. With no last words. No explanation. Nothing.
This is a common pattern, and I labeled these boys "cowards." Harsh? Not even close. I think the adjective is suitable.
They don’t utter a word to you at all even after time has passed. Top it off, when they see you unexpectedly; they avoid you purposely because they cannot face you.
I should have known that he and his ex-girlfriend were still in communication. It was so clear that he was not over her. Photos still up on the walls. But there was a part of me, a naïve part of me, that believed him when he said it was over.
While I was in the midst to open the can of worms of clarifying where we stood, he got a call. He answered in the middle of our conversation. Never have I thought I would be walking out of someone’s doorstep to find an ex waiting for him.
Yes, that happened.
You can imagine how I felt inside. I felt terribly embarrassed. Confused more than anything, looking for answers.
I was not even upset at the fact that she and he had potential to get back together. I was more upset for the no-call, no-show. Unanswered.
What did I learn? I learned that history repeats itself, if you allow it. And I did unfortunately. If didn’t work out the first time, what makes you think it’ll work out again in the future? Things end for a reason – to make room for new beginnings.
After this lesson, I swore off dating.
At least for awhile.
-Chary; 23, Greater LA area. Blogger at Buttons and Chary.