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Your phone is powerful. Not only can it geolocate the nearest Taco Bell, it can find you love, and whatever type of love you're looking for...

If you haven't heard, dating apps are so hot right meow. In fact, did you know 80% of singles prefer apps over dating sites? Shocking.

So why are dating apps like Swoon becoming so popular? Here's why:


Breakup Text App


Someone ring the alarm, and throw ya elbows, because you can now dump someone with an iPhone app. 

Having to break up with someone is almost worse than trying to open a Gatorade with lotion on your hands, and while I don't normally condone things like this, fuck it.

Breakup Text is easy, it's TOO easy. Just enter the person's name, state how serious the relationship was, and why you want to end it. And you can even claim you were eaten by a bear. 

Here's my reasoning for why this is sort of okay/not okay:



Ahoy! Need a fun date idea this month? You could do the usual 2 for $20 at T.G.I Friday's, or, you could try something fun and go sailing for the day.

Now, I'm not proposing you do the sailing, sea captain, unless you're familiar of course. I'm simply implying you could cozy up to some rich folk who have a boat or buy a Groupon. It's up to you. Whatever you're more comfortable with.

But picture this: you and your crush/gf/bf/fiance/husband/wifey/mistress out on the open sea, giving Eskimo kisses, sipping on a little bubbly and being all adorable and stuff. Sounds amazing, right? Throw in some lobster rolls and a little dessert and you have yourself a summer date made in heaven.

And if you really want to impress someone, brush up on these boat-tastic terms here. Oh, and don't forget the Dramamine, you just never know...


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Don't start licking people's eyes because you read about it online and heard it's the kEwL new thing to do. It's a sick fetish and you WILL get pink eye. But if you're curious, read more about it here.

Do feel okay if you don't know how to twerk.

Don't feel okay if you think you can twerk but actually can't.

Do feel okay if you're in your mid-twenties and not married, in a relationship or even have a date lined up. YOU'RE NORMAL!

Do be happy you have a job and aren't home watching daytime soaps like this during the day.

Do feel okay about wanting to see Lindsay Lohan's new movie.

Don't be afraid to see Lindsay Lohan's new movie because you think you might like it.

Don't be sad there will be children born the same day as Kate Middleton's baby who will get a special coin and you won't. You can't win em all.

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