Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Who picks up the check on a date?

Who picks up the check on a date? Milla Jovovich

My first date, which I've written about here, may have been the worst thing to happen since Amanda Bynes' undercut according to my so called life circa 2004.

And it was on that date, after the waitress came by and glared at me with disgust as she picked up my plate of refried beans and enchiladas I hardly touched (because I was too nervous to eat), that she dropped off the bill. Right in between us. Awk.Ward.

I didn't really know what to do other than reach for my wallet. And I sure as hell wasn't about to assume he was paying for the meal I didn't eat...because I'm not that tYpE of girl.

So as I reached for my wallet in my super awesome Roxy purse, he said "put that away, it's on me." Which is English for: "Really, bitch? Just this one time."



Since then, I've always practiced proper reach-for-the-cash-iquette, but I'll be honest, there were times I felt bold (well liquored) and didn't reach for my wallet. But that didn't exactly land me dinner at Morton's on the second date either.

So to go halfsies or to not? I don't think there is a divide between men and women or women and women or men and men that says one of you should always pay the bill. It's not like it's the 1950s anymore, psh, right? Like, we are women, hear us roar? We have jobs. We vote. We is kind, we is smart, we is important! We SHOULD be paying the bill, right?! Haha, okay maybe on the second date...

Here is some etiquette to follow. No pressure (caveat: if the person you're dating never offers to pay for your meal or even offer to pay his/her half, refuse to pay the bill)(I'm serious):

Who picks up the check on a date?


Do you pay? Split? Or do you walk on the wild side and expect the royal treatment? What do you think the golden rule of paying on a date is?

11 comments :

  1. I had a girl ask me out once, she picked the time and place, ordered double what I did, and then when the bill came she didn't even make an effort to pay for anything, needless to say that was the last time I ever went out with her, what do I look like a free lunch ?

    If I had asked her out I would have insisted on paying.

    I like your chart.

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  2. I'm the stupid girl who always gives it up on every date. The cash, I mean.

    And I'm also the stupid girl that gets taken advantage of time & again, and somehow I also always manage to find the unmanly men who allow a woman to pay for their meal.

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  3. It took me a while to get comfortable with just doing the reach and not full on insisting on splitting. It's kind of nice. I find now with even some of my guy friends they want to pay. One of my good guy friends said to me, " Just let me buy you a damn brunch." So I did. Sometimes it's nice to just let a guy buy you a damn brunch. He can afford it and I am certainly not hanging out with him for free brunch.

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  4. It is this sort of thing that always made me too nervous to go on dates! Like I am not awkward enough as it is, all I need is to have to do this little dance. Here's what I think, the first couple of dates the guy should always insist on paying. Always! Girls should most definitely offer, sincerely, but he should insist. Because it just shows chivalry and makes a gal feel good, like he wants to spend money on her. Also, it's easier to figure out where you stand. If he lets you pay half, it often gets confusing... trust me I've been there. Once you get going though the girl should offer to cover it. Or pay for it when she gets up to powder her nose, it shows that she is not snobby or expecting him to always pay for her, and that she's a good person! Yeah, that's right! But, always reach for the wallet ladies!

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  5. I once went on a date that was going fine, until the end when the water accidentally brought us the change for another table before we had even gotten our bill. My date then got upset because he thought I had paid without telling him, and asked me if it was some sort of 'feminist thing.' Obviously, I never went out with that particular gem again, but ever since I've always been nervous about what to do when the check comes. I like that graph...really helpful, haha.

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