Definitely trust a guy who...

I know ya'll love the "Never Trust A Guy Who..." series, but in an effort to not sound so negative Nancy Drew in my effort to help you date the right people, I want you to stop focusing on the bad stuff and start focusing on the good stuff--at least for this post and then you can go back to focusing on the bad stuff.

So ladies, and gents, definitely trust a guy who...

Isn't perfect: just because he didn't go to Harvard, isn't a doctor or doesn't have a Nobel Peace Prize, doesn't mean he lacks depth, intelligence and can't speak a second language. Have you heard of Rosetta Stone? Pft, who needs grad school? I mean, how do you really relate to someone who's serious about wearing Armani Exchange anyway? Besides, the guy who graduated from ITT Tech and has a lucrative career that makes HIM happy might make you MORE happy than Mr. La Di Da Designer Pants.

Has a weird habit, laugh or nervous tendency: take a look in the mirror!

Has mom, dad, family issues, etc.: you're not always probably never going to find someone who's family tree looks like the Brady Bunch's so don't shame someone for not having a family history only TV Land could offer. He's probably a perfectly good guy anyway.

Didn't get you off the first time: maybe he was nervous or maybe he can't read your mind...duh...speak up!

How to meet the parents for the first time

So it’s time to meet your S/O’s parents. Clearly, you don’t want to fuck it up by being an impolite, poorly dressed, bore. I don’t want you to fail, and I KNOW you don’t want you to fail. There are no second chances people: parents decide your fate.

First things first: look in the mirror. Is your hemline above your fingertips? Can I see your clear, sparkly bra straps? Does your normal attire look like a Halloween costume? If you said “yes” to any of that, grab an L.L. Bean catalog right now and order some new clothes. You know that person who said you can never be underdressed for an interview? Meeting parents for the first time is just like an interview, and if you don’t believe me, ask Jeeves.

Try something that covers you up, hides tattoos (don’t scare mom) and don’t wear shirts that are screen printed with messages that may make people question your life decisions like “F*ck Bitches, Make $$$.” Also, don’t forget to groom. Why do I even have to tell you that?

Now that you’re dressed appropriately and in the presence of mom and dad, shake hands. You’re not going to land the role of “daughter/son-in-law” by waving from ten feet away, you putz. Extend your arm and give a firm one…but not too firm, you're don't want to be remembered as the one with the really, really strong shake.

Next, you’re going to want to channel your inner Pixar and exercise a warm, bubbly personality that’s hidden deep under all those layers of you: think Snow White or that Kia salesman you hate but can’t help liking because he gives you hot dogs and holds doors open.

Also, don’t forget to sit cross legged at all times if wearing a skirt, ladies. Mom and dad don't need to see your Calvin Kleins, and if you don't wear underwear, now's the time to.

Before you RSVP, ask your S/O about his parents (if you haven’t already, which you should have): What do they do for a living? Where are they from? What are their hobbies? Are they vegan? Now that you’re inundated with a library of knowledge about them, you’re ready to engage, and I don’t know, impress them with everything you know about faux chicken nuggets. Mind blowing.

Gratuitous gestures are always pleasing like arriving with a “nice” bottle of $6 Shiraz or a veggie tray if you’ve been invited to their home for dinner. Or, you could be a real saint and stop standing around like you’re effing Amelia Bloomer and help in the kitchen; offer to prep meals, set the table or do some laundry, and insist!

Next you’re going to want to corner the family members, not literally though. Make nice with siblings, grandma’s and neighbors, play catch or sit in on an episode of Storage Wars; this is about bonding and showing you’re interested in what’s most important to your S/O.

Now that you’re besties with everyone, and practically a hit (don’t get ahead of yourself, I said practically), thank the hosts. Shake hands or hug, whatever you’re in the mood for – that Shiraz creeps up on ya!

Don’t talk about politics, religion, homosexuality or rivaling sports teams. If they ask you, stay neutral.

Put your phone, tablet, laptop, pager, and Snap Chat away. You’re on their time, not “me” time.

No groping.

I watched this video and it got me thinking about what love means and a pair of aviators I misplaced that I should find and possibly start wearing indoors. Possibly.

Is life ultimately about being on a quest for love resulting in us falling in love, then out, then back in? Or are we supposed to "go with the flow, and keep it rolling"?

Put your aviators on, watch the video and share your thoughts.


A story about a guy who made a move on his dream girl...

Love Story No. 9: Being bold and making a move

I found her: my dream girl. It was love at first sight, if such a thing exists. She sat at a crowded bar in Los Angeles with two of her girlfriends. She was gorgeous― an angel in her own right. Now, I'd like to point out I'm not the kind of guy who hits on random girls at a bar. Merely the thought of talking to a pretty girl is enough to make my stomach hurt. But I had to say something.

"I would be angry with myself if I left without talking to her," I told my friends. They taunted and prodded me until I agreed to approach to her. But what should I say? How do you stand out from the other 500,000 single males in the city? Being a guy is tough sometimes.

You’re supposed to display confidence, but not be a douche bag. You're supposed to flirt, but not be a creep. And you're supposed to make the first move.

I finally gathered enough courage (read: drank enough beer) to make my approach.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I just wanted to say that I think you're an
effortless beauty."

"Thank you."

"I'm Chad," I said while extending my hand. She shook it. Electricity flowed from her fingertips into mine, up my arm, and into my chest. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. Before she could tell me her name, I asked if I could play her a song. She looked confused but nodded yes.

definition of love, what is love, love, kiss, couple kissing

I love/am emotionally attached to a lot of things: Chapstick, socks with non-slip pads on their underside, wooden hangers because they make me feel special, new pillows and celebrity meltdowns, but is that love? Is that the kind of deep euphoric love that Tom Cruise freaked the fuck out about on Oprah's couch? Eh.

Love isn’t circumstantial or one-sided; it isn’t telling guys you’re taken at da club or buying a $750,000 Lambo for your boyfriend of a nano-second (Cough, KIMYE), love is more than that.

Love is being the biggest cheerleader for someone there ever was. It’s like being Kirsten Dunst in Bring it On, but you’re rooting for your bf/gf all the time, and for everything from getting their dream job to getting a car loan approved. It’s truly wanting him/her to succeed in anything they apply themselves to and believing – not thinking – they’re the damn best at what they do.

It’s wanting someone to be happy and wanting to protect this person from any evils in the world like jerky bosses, bullies and terrorists. It’s also being concerned about someone’s well-being, more than your own sometimes, because if he/she gets swine flu or in a street fight, you would feel that person's pain and…just, no. Don't go there.



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