What was your first kiss like? Recently, I was asked to share my first kiss experience, and honestly, I must have buried that memory in the deepest, darkest place of my brain and soaked it in a punch bowl of Glenlivet because it was HARD to remember.

I was 16 or 17, at a party, and my so-called BFF came up with the GRAND idea of playing spin the bottle to get my crush and I to kiss. I was so nervous and didn't want my first kiss to be in front of a bunch people, but I spun the stupid bottle anyway. What happened next was just my luck: I landed on a friend who I didn't want to kiss and my loyal BFF landed on my crush. She then planted a long, lingering kiss on him as I watched with fire in my eyes. Such fun memories!!!

All this talk about first kisses had me wondering about other people's experiences. So I asked a few friends to share their first kiss stories...enjoy:

"I don't count my first kiss until I was 17, I didn't count pecks or things like that. This was the full blown thing. My girlfriend at the time was 16 and we were at her house, she brought me upstairs and we started kissing in her room. Both of her parents were downstairs, so the thrill of that made it all a lot more exciting. We broke up about two weeks after that. After this first time, she had the worst breath." - Jesse

So, not sure how this happened, but some dear people at Babble named me on their Top 100 Bloggers of 2013 list!

Which is just...pretty cool!!

So if you want to check out the little feature Babble did on me, check it out here!

And thank you all to Babble and everyone who reads this because when I started rambling on here like a crazy person back in 2008 (holy!), I never thought anyone would actually read it.

Cyber hugs all around.

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'Tis the season for prezzies! It's time to use all that good credit to buy something nice for the special people in your life. So no more Outback Steakhouse gift cards bought in the checkout at your grocery store...take a look at my holiday gift guides for guys and girls for some inspiration...

Holiday Gift Guide for Guys

Crush: you could make him a mix tape, but since no one has a Walkman anymore, a cd from a band he likes will do / Boyfriend: Black AOP Outside Howl Heavy Shirt / Fiance: Baxter of California Shave Kit / Husband: A watch is always nice, a Hublot watch is even nicer / Dad: The complete James Bond DVD box set / Bro: ASOS Beanie

At the tender age of 16 I was what most guys would be at that age: cocky, curious, and in decent shape. I had been in and out of the dating scene, but with a new car, an extended curfew, and an overactive libido, I decided it was time to open myself up to a more, “mature” relationship. That’s when I met her (for the sake of privacy let’s call “her,” “Jessica”).  Jessica and I had known of each other through mutual friends. She was a year and half older than me and a lot more experienced. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but more so in a relationship kind of way. We met one day in our biology class. She was the T.A. for the period before mine and stayed late to help grade papers. We got to talking and after a while exchanged phone numbers.

Before I knew it we were making out in my bed after a night of swimming in the hot tub and looking at the stars. My first huge mistake happened when Jessica told me she had to go and I pulled out a box of “her pleasure” condoms. Having lost my virginity just a year prior I somehow thought that was what all girls her age wanted.  She was offended (for good reason), and stormed out. I thought it would be the last time we would ever be together. I hated myself for a day or two until she texted me and said she wanted to hang out again.

wildfox marry me girl in white online dating

When you're in your mid-twenties+, it can feel like everyone you know is in a serious committed relationship, engaged, married or having babies. And while we all like to say being single is the token gold medal – you can eat a whole pizza without worrying about how you will look naked and you can leave the toilet seat up—it's nice having someone who brings you froyo and rubs your back when you're sick (who isn’t your mom).

So you try meeting people through friends of friends or out and about, and when that doesn't work, you download a dating app that gets you a few good hookups. And when that doesn't work, you start Googling websites like eHarmony because a friend met her fiancé on there.

But where do you even begin? How do you even online date? And what if that doesn’t even work?! Well, the internet is your oyster, people. And besides, why wouldn't you want to try dating websites like eHarmony? It can match you with compatible people in the very comfort of the double bed you've been lamenting your last breakup in since…your last breakup. Their website even says "Greater trust and proven chemistry. It's a fact right on the homepage!

So here’s how to get started:

I don't know about you, but I've always had this idea that speed dating events are either held in a high school cafeteria at night or in a church recreation room accompanied with fruit punch and a tray of mint Milano cookies that no one touches.

But, obvi, that is not what happens. I chatted with a real life speed dating host who gave me a delicious Costco sized sample of what the events are really like, and to my surprise, there were no Milanos. She even bestowed some of her wisdom for first-time speed daters to me.

So how did you get into the biz and how long have you been doing this?

Cindy Crawford 90's breakups

They say a long time ago in the age where you had to call a number to get the current time, it was a lot easier to get over someone. No Twitter, no Facebook, no Instagram. You never knew what your ex was up to unless you braved a phone call or...drove by his house at 2 a.m.

So naturally, the unknowing undoubtedly aided the healing process.

But today? How are you supposed to get over someone when you're tuned into constant status updates of what he ate for lunch and who he hung out with last night (who is strikingly gorgeous and single according to her profile, *sobs*)?

Well, the truth is, you will not get over your ex when you're devouring his every move. You will not feel okay knowing who's flirting with him on Instagram and you will not like seeing that the new life he built without you is evidently fun.

So here's how you get over someone: unfriend him or hide him. Just get rid of him for a while. Live life and resist the urge to lurk his public profiles because it will hurt and you will cry like a big, pathetic and jealous baby.

What good is your cyber friendship doing you anyway? If anything, it's just leaving a window open for you to poke him after you drank an entire bottle of Trader Joe's finest, Two Buck Chuck. And what does poking lead to? Nothing. It does not lead to getting back together. It leads to regret.

And while I don't care if you remain friends with your ex, that's your choice, after time, remaining cyber friends after a breakup when you're vulnerable, lonely and angry is toxic. We all know it, we all pretend like we can handle it, but we can't.

So just do it. Rip the Band-Aid off, heal, and then come tell me how much better your life became after not seeing his Sunday Fun-days. Tell a friend.

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Anthony michael hall in the breakfast club smoking a joint dating tips

Never trust a guy who...

Who's photos look scanned on Tinder. Hi, 2002 called, and they want you to update your profile ya creep.

Refuses to shop anywhere besides Whole Foods (uh, okay, guy).

Rolls his eyes and has a minor fit when people order non-grass-fed meat.

Since we're talking about grass-fed meat, never trust a guy who lectures you on GMO and processed food when you eat a Double Stuffed Oreo because you're "having a bad day and...look away if you hate it!"

Never trust a guy who breaks up with you but continues to like all your photos on Facebook and Instagram, Retweets you, sends you Snapchats, and pokes you. Don't. Trust. Him.

Has a dirty apartment. And I mean, dirty. If it's difficult to walk through and things...move (re: bugs), you should be running for the door. Dirty apartments are basically the prequel to many more disturbing things that will surface over time.

Is rude to your friends.

Is even more rude to your pets. You don't need him.

See more Never Trust a Guy Who... posts here.

As you know, it's not easy hitting on complete strangers. Whether you're at a bar or the grocery store, approaching someone can be intimidating.What if you say the wrong thing? What if they're taken? What if you get rejected? What if, what if, what IF!

You can't control the what if's, but you can control things like, your approach...

So here are some tips on how to approach a stranger (for guys AND girls) you want to be friendly-er with:

1. Act normal: I shouldn't have to tell you to act normal but once a guy tugged on my hair while I was sitting at a bar with some friends. This did not work for him and this will not work for you. 

2. Have good breath: No one wants to smell your last meal on your breath, so please, for the sake of your love life, keep some breath fresheners in your purse (or pocket) because you never know when you will meet someone.

3. Don't be cheesy: I guarantee any pickup line you learned in high school or got off a Drake album won't work. Instead, try an honest, genuine approach like...introducing yourself.

4. Relax: There's an age old rumor that eating Jell-O powder will calm your nerves. Well, it doesn't. If you're too nervous to talk to the dream boat you've been eyeing, take a deep breath and remember, if you blow it, you will never see him/her again.

5. Flirt: Note anything interesting about the person to talk about: maybe he's wearing a tee with your favorite band on it or drinking your favorite drink? Break the ice with something like that. You could even tease a little, but not don't be mean.

Got that?

And of course, when you do score the date...always be sure to carry my date night must-haves: cash, phone, ID, some powder and a little lip color, and some breath spray.

So in the spirit of hitting on guys and girls the right way, I teamed up with Hello Oral Care to give away two of their refreshing Hello Breath Sprays (to ensure you are seriously friendly when approaching someone).

These sprays come in yummy flavors like Sweet Cinnamint, Supermint, and Pink Grapefruit Mint. And the best part? They're tiny so they fit perfectly in a clutch or pocket.

You can enter to win simply by choosing one of the three options below. Two winners will be selected Saturday, October 12! And just in case you were wondering...my favorite pickup line is...being yourself!
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This post was sponsored by Hello Oral Care--all advice and opinions are my own. To see what other cool products Hello Oral Care offers like mouthwash, toothpaste and more, and where you can buy them, go here.

Um, hi. It's fall. Like, where did the time go? I've been a bit lazy on posting lately because of life things plus having a Netflix problem, so forgive me for this lazy post I'm about to not write and upload a bunch of photos.

It's Friday, like you were going to READ anyway.

I stumbled across these old photos of celebs that sort of made my heart melt, except for the one of Corey Feldmen and Heather Graham because...Corey Feldmen. Ek. Have fun looking!

girl in school uniform college students guy and girl dating

When I was in my late teens/early twenties, I was a spaz:

"He hasn't written on my Facebook wall in FOREEEVVVERRRRR." *cries to Snow Patrol*

"He makes eye contact, I think he likes me!! I better look him up on every social channel first though to make sure there's not another hoe in the picture."

"Well, we've been dating for a while so like, ARE WE OFFICIAL? AM I SINGLE? AM I BEING USED? I NEED ANSWERS."

I used to read into everything, and I mean everything. I would obsess over conversations before they happened and then brutally dissect the ones that DID happen like some kind of science project. It was sick. I was sick. But I was young.

And as I've gotten older and been able to soak in the never ending bath of who I've dated, decisions I've made and relationships I've held, I can't help but never want to be that age again. Nope. Never. Your early twenties are like the Wild West of emotional absurdity, amiright?

So now that I've experienced what they call air quote womanhood un-air quote, this is what I've observed: when you get older, you stop giving a fuck.

You know what you want, you know the type of people you want to surround yourself with and honestly, if you have your shit together, you're too busy worrying about your credit score and how to bake a spaghetti squash to care about the guy you went on one date with and hasn't replied to your Snapchat.

Just picture it: a world where you get asked out and you don't overthink everything. You say yes or no and everything just makes sense, I'm serious. Don't believe me? Fine, be a bitch. But don't act surprised when you turn 26 and you stop carrrrring so much.

Oh and just to piss you all off because this was the worst, good advice anyone ever gave me when I was younger:

If it's meant to be, it will be. So stop lurking his Instagram and write that down.

Aaron carter and hilary duff dating

There are just some things you can't get rid of. For some, it's Beanie Babies, and for me, it's Beanie Babies and my coveted magazines from my teen years (OK, ok! I did get rid of some Beanie Babies, just not the ones I bought tag protectors for).

After I posted this antique photo of Britney Spears on the cover of YM magazine in September 2000 on Instagram (Uh, #TBT people!), I felt the urge to read through the mag as well as a few others I kept like CosmoGirl and Teen People (for those of you who grew up with the high speed internet and Snapchat, these were every teen girl's bible). 

After finally getting past all the Skechers ads and hair glitter tutorials, it was...interesting, to say the least, reading the articles I relied so heavily on to get me through my evil teen years.

So I snapped a few pages for fun. Have a looksy:

best bad breakup letters

Thank GOD it's Friday. If you're not ready to pour margarita mix in your cereal by Friday morning, then I'm jealous. 

Here are a few things I loved this week, including the breakup letter pictured above. And don't worry, there's more where that came from...

The 10 Best Crappy Breakup Letters that will make you wish you had on hand for your ex...

Advice on turning 30 written by the ever-so-witty, Olivia Wilde *girl crush*

My new favorite song by Lorde, The Love Club

This photo of Jackie O

Surprising things about parenting in Japan, any parents up for a move?

This couple in 1975

These photos of celebs in their teens/early twenties

Have a great weekend!

zach morris cell phone dating apps swoon

Your phone is powerful. Not only can it geolocate the nearest Taco Bell, it can find you love, and whatever type of love you're looking for...

If you haven't heard, dating apps are so hot right meow. In fact, did you know 80% of singles prefer apps over dating sites? Shocking.

So why are dating apps like Swoon becoming so popular? Here's why:

Breakup Text App

Someone ring the alarm, and throw ya elbows, because you can now dump someone with an iPhone app. 

Having to break up with someone is almost worse than trying to open a Gatorade with lotion on your hands, and while I don't normally condone things like this, fuck it.

Breakup Text is easy, it's TOO easy. Just enter the person's name, state how serious the relationship was, and why you want to end it. And you can even claim you were eaten by a bear. 

Here's my reasoning for why this is sort of okay/not okay:

Ahoy! Need a fun date idea this month? You could do the usual 2 for $20 at T.G.I Friday's, or, you could try something fun and go sailing for the day.

Now, I'm not proposing you do the sailing, sea captain, unless you're familiar of course. I'm simply implying you could cozy up to some rich folk who have a boat or buy a Groupon. It's up to you. Whatever you're more comfortable with.

But picture this: you and your crush/gf/bf/fiance/husband/wifey/mistress out on the open sea, giving Eskimo kisses, sipping on a little bubbly and being all adorable and stuff. Sounds amazing, right? Throw in some lobster rolls and a little dessert and you have yourself a summer date made in heaven.

And if you really want to impress someone, brush up on these boat-tastic terms here. Oh, and don't forget the Dramamine, you just never know...

girls drinking water from drinking fountain national geographic

Don't start licking people's eyes because you read about it online and heard it's the kEwL new thing to do. It's a sick fetish and you WILL get pink eye. But if you're curious, read more about it here.

Do feel okay if you don't know how to twerk.

Don't feel okay if you think you can twerk but actually can't.

Do feel okay if you're in your mid-twenties and not married, in a relationship or even have a date lined up. YOU'RE NORMAL!

Do be happy you have a job and aren't home watching daytime soaps like this during the day.

Do feel okay about wanting to see Lindsay Lohan's new movie.

Don't be afraid to see Lindsay Lohan's new movie because you think you might like it.

Don't be sad there will be children born the same day as Kate Middleton's baby who will get a special coin and you won't. You can't win em all.

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guy and girl kissing in bed love

After a month of constant fighting, it seemed I didn’t love her anymore. We have had fights before, and I always thought of myself as the guy who doesn’t give up on a relationship easily. I believed in love and I believed that if we both worked hard enough, we could make the relationship work. But this time, somehow I lost all hope.

We had threatened each other with breakups. We both loved each other but there was just something off about the relationship. Maybe it was the fact that we were both going through a tough time in life. We both were having difficulties financially, and she was having trouble finding a job. Every day we woke up with a new hope, but even the slightest disagreement could have led to a fight of catastrophic proportions.

I decided to let the relationship go and move on. This time, it was no threat. It was a decision that I made. I knew it would be difficult to go through: we lived together, we ate together, we slept together, and we spent almost every living moment together. Being in a relationship where you have no space of your own is poison. And that poison had slowly eaten away the very foundation our relationship was built on.

I tried breaking up in person, but to no avail. The fights had turned us into vicious animals who knew each other’s every weakness.So when I had to go away on business for a day, I called her and told her it was over.

What followed was completely expected and I was prepared for it. All the anger, the manipulation, the threats, the bargaining, the name calling and demands--it went on for the entire day. That night, I went to sleep thinking the relationship that was making my life miserable was finally over, and I was right. But not in the sense I was thinking.

I woke up with 147 missed calls. She thought that I wanted to break up because I thought she didn’t love me. She didn’t sleep all night because she just wanted to tell me that she loves me. She hadn’t spoken to me like this in months. And I realized even I still loved her. It wasn’t because of pity, or neediness, or the fear of breaking up. It was because I cared about her, and I still thought that below all this ugliness, there was love.

That night changed the course of our relationship. We learned how to give each other space and respect each other even while arguing. I know some relationships are easy and some take work. But from what I’ve learned, even the ones that take work become easy after a while.

-Kevin; 27, Mountain View, CA (you can read more from Kevin here)

Kevin writes advice on breakups and giving relationships second chance at UnBreakup.org
baseball game date
It's June and what better thing is there to do with someone ya dig than go to a baseball game? If heaven had a bookstore about dates to try in the month of June, baseball games would be number one. Believe me.

You see, a baseball game is the perfect place to get to know someone - you have nine WHOLE innings to really get to know each other. That's a long time. In fact, that's enough time to learn everything about your date including family health history and their favorite movies in alphabetical order.

Need another reason to get excited for a baseball game date? Um, hello! Ice cream sundaes in helmets! Personally, any date I get a souvenir (mini plastic baseball helmet) from is one to rave about...

Okay, so I think I've preached enough...go on a date already.

Daisy Lowe

A few weeks ago I raved/posted about "Roshambo," Free People's whimsical campaign that sells their clothing in the form of digital shorts about love. And well, they blew me away again!

Their newest short is a sweet little story featuring a girl, played by Daisy Lowe, who try's out different looks to catch the attention of her cute neighbor across the way.

Some looks are more risque like the expected pageantry of sexy lingerie and heavy makeup, while the winning look that snags his attention, is totally casual.

"Neighbor" pushes the idea to be ourselves and not worry about dressing up to impress anyone. (Where was this when I was 15?)

Check it out!

Photo by Thomas Northcut
Who picks up the check on a date? Milla Jovovich

My first date, which I've written about here, may have been the worst thing to happen since Amanda Bynes' undercut according to my so called life circa 2004.

And it was on that date, after the waitress came by and glared at me with disgust as she picked up my plate of refried beans and enchiladas I hardly touched (because I was too nervous to eat), that she dropped off the bill. Right in between us. Awk.Ward.

I didn't really know what to do other than reach for my wallet. And I sure as hell wasn't about to assume he was paying for the meal I didn't eat...because I'm not that tYpE of girl.

So as I reached for my wallet in my super awesome Roxy purse, he said "put that away, it's on me." Which is English for: "Really, bitch? Just this one time."

Do's and Don'ts of Dating pool summer guys in pool grotto

A couple thoughts...my Do's and Don'ts of the week...

Don't forget your manners, especially when asking Drake to murder your vagina on a Twitter (sorry to bring this up since it happened almost two months ago, but I was afraid this slipped your minds. You should ALWAYS be cautious of this).

Don't wear sheer clothing when on a date at Disneyland. What I mean by that is: Don't wear sheer clothing at Disneyland. Period.

The perfect picnic date

Dates. I believe most dates go well unless they're not planned and you end up at an Applebee's. And I'm not THAT opposed to Applebee's if you don't act all: "Well that's weird they lost my reservation for this four star restaurant, but I know there's an Applebee's up the street." (Ok, guy.)

But I mean, if you're into other things, like cutesier things, May is the perfect time for picnics.

1 Girl, 12 Guys: A speed dating tell all in Hollywood

Ever been curious about speed dating? Me too. So when my friend, Jessica, mentioned she was going, I told her she had to spill every single detail following the event. And here's what happened...

Name: Jessica
Age: 25
Location: Los Angeles
Status: Too single for words

In three words, describe the evening:

Have you ever speed dated before?
No. And for good reason…

What were you expecting when you arrived?
To be honest, I wasn’t expecting much. I knew there would be a handful of guys, so I assumed ONE would be worthy of…something?

What was the reality?
I arrived at the Sofitel Hotel in Los Angeles with a girlfriend of mine (come on, no one does this alone). We met our “host” of the evening, who quickly handed us a name tag, booklet and pencil. The booklet was to jot down any “interesting” details about our dates. I didn’t use the booklet. Well, I used it to spit out my gum.

What has your mom taught you about love?

Yes, the chubby cat in the photo with only one eye visible is me. It was Halloween and I was...a cat. Thanks, mom. But really, how convincingly good did I look?

Mother's Day is just around the corner, which is why I'm here to not only thank my mom, and all the other moms for making such dashing costumes like this, but to talk about what moms have taught us about love, life and the things we'd rather learn about from overly mature friends who were allowed to watch The Real World before me us.

My mom has certainly shared some wisdom with me over the years that  has stuck and that's that love isn't easy and it takes work if you want to MAKE it work!

Yes, there are blogs you can read (not like I'm talking about this one or anything), and tv shows you can watch about over privileged white girls "roughing it" in New York (take a guess), but doesn't the best advice that molds us come from moms?

So I'd love to know, what has your mom taught you about love? How to be a good listener? How to spot a cheater (do tell)? I'd love to hear their words of wisdom.

Happy Mother's Day!
Never Trust a Guy Who...

Doesn't have a job and isn't actively pursuing one. Do you really want to pay for everything? Because you're going to. Also, what are your goals and dreams? Is it sitting on the couch playing Zelda (i don't even know) all day too? No? Thought so. Get rid of the dead weight.

If you got dumped via text or social network, NEVER TRUST HIM AGAIN! Hello! I don't care if he calls you wanting you back six months later, just NO.

Never trust a guy who says he and his girlfriend have an OPEN relationship...unless she told you herself, zip your pants up, sister, and pray to God she hasn't already stalked your activity on his Facebook. Women have eyes and ears everywhere.

You've been dating a while and he calls you his Boo Thang, but he didn't follow you back on Instagram AND his profile is private? Hmm...

May must-haves

Happy May!

Since it's the start of a new month, and I really like you guys, I thought I'd share something new. I present to you...Ms. May! All mah single ladies and ladies in looove, anticipate a go-to guide for must-haves of the month, at the beginning of every month!

1. Buy yourself some peonies because shit, you deserve them. They're in full bloom right now and you don't need no man to give you flowers.

2. La Perla Donna  Lucia lingerie set...because you're worth it. 

3. Victoria's Secret Glossy Lip Tint Sheen in Knockout Red is the best lip product ever. Tried it, loved it, buy it. 

4. This Pink Collins is everything you need to feel juicy, fruity and loosey goosey this month.

5. Is it worth it? Let me work it...with Missy Elliot's Under Construction album. You're welcome.

6. It's a "Hey Girl" phone case, need I say more?

7. Why would you ever walk or wear sandals again this month if you could roll around in these bad boys? See ya Heelys (but please tell me you don't wear those).

Do you have any must-haves this month?

Have you ever said "I love you first" ?

Have you ever said "I love you" first?

Even when I knew I was in love long before "I love you's" were exchanged, and the words drifted to the tip of my tongue on several occasions, I held back.

Mostly because I'm a chicken and afraid of getting a crazy answer in return like "thank you." Gross. And don't forget the big "I love you" elephant in the room you're stuck with after that. No thank you.

There was one point when I thought about saying "I love you" first, and in my head, it went off without a hitch. I was that melodramatic girl in the movies who runs to his house in the pouring rain (because why would it be sunny?), bangs on his door (which he answers shirtless, of course) and professes my undying love for him...in which he returns the sentiments and then credits roll. Obviously.

Okay, I'm going to be real with you right now: romance has changed. And girl, don't even act like you didn't know.

Gone are the days when dating was a mystery...when you knew nothing about a person before your first date--hellooo Facebook! 

And present are the days of SnapChats and pokes. And no, I'm not complaining, I love me a good Facebook poke and a dirty SnapChat--give me what you got.

But here's what I really love: when you Gen Y gents get creative with your available technology and impress us. Like, blow our MINDS impress us.

So I share with you a clip I've been waiting to appear on YouTube for weeks; a clip that explains all of what I said plus some extra romance sauce all up on it.

If you haven't heard of Rookie Mag's Ask a Grown Man Series, well, then you're welcome! In their latest installment, Thom Yorke (of Radiohead) and Nigel Godrich of Atoms of Peace answer burning questions about guys--ones you're crushing on, tired of, hate but secretly love, and more.

Have a watch!

Follow the dots, and remember, BE HONEST! 
How to tell you're a booty call...

Wasn't this fun? And remember, just because he's happy to run into you at the grocery store doesn't make up for the fact you don't know much about him. Be careful.

Don't forget to share this with a friend you think needs an awakening...or maybe the guy you're "seeing?" Couldn't hurt. Spread the good word, friends.

Do you have memories that haunt you? Jennifer Lawrence

Do you ever feel haunted by relationships in your past? Even if they weren't relationships, even if you just dated for a few weeks, or had a bad blind date, do you ever have painfully haunting memories that are brought on by the mere mention of that person's name?

I do.

Let's bond--I am haunted by someone I dated. And the sad part? It was years ago. I know...stop judging. I feel bad enough, guys.

CosmoGirl never taught me the right stuff. It was always: "Beauty Products That Drive Him Wild" or "Seven Different Ways to Get His Attention Between Classes...smiley face.”

But there was never a 40-something writer posing as a young, wise college student who gave the right advice like: "Reasons You Should Listen to Your Instincts About Someone Even If He's Cute and Charming Because He's Not Right For You (And Stop Checking Your Horoscope For Signs He is Right For You)."

So for years, no thanks to CosmoGirl, I've been rudely reminded of my inability to stop pursuing this person far past our expiration date. Like when I'm listening to my iPod and some dumb song comes on that he told me to listen to because I’d "loooove it," I'm reminded. Or when I'm passed out on the couch in a pile of rice cake crumbs and awoken by a TV show he tried to get me to watch, I'm reminded again. It's fucking annoying.

And why am I so bothered, you ask?

An unexpected reunion...

A must-watch! 

Although this is an advertisement for clothing (Free People, no, I'm not getting paid for this), it's a beautiful and mesmerizing short about a budding love story featuring GIRLS star Christopher Abbott.

"A touring band member and his bohemian beaut are unexpectedly reunited on a Brooklyn street, and they spend a short time together in the city's boroughs."

Enjoy the video below!

Photo Source: Free People

Love Story No. 10: When the person you love is living another life

I’ve always been a writer. Even when I was little I would make picture books, and as soon as I learned how to write, I started filling the white spaces around the pictures with words. I’d draw pictures of dogs, cars, and women. Sometimes I’d draw pictures of men.

Men like Adam.

When I drew pictures of people I would write the types of things that most 4-year-olds would write—“this lady is wearing a blue shirt”, or “this doggy wags his tail”—but I remember that I also used to ask a lot of question about the subjects of my art. If I drew a boy, I might write: “What is this boy like?”

When I first met Adam, I looked at his big green eyes and thought, “this guy is attractive—I wonder what he’s like?” It was my first year at Boston College, Adam and I were walking out of a math class we had together, and I struck up small talk, mentioning that I might need help with my math homework (like I said, I’ve always been a writer). He agreed, and after the first study session, Adam and I were inseparable.

As a girl, the more questions I wrote down about my artwork, the more I wanted answers to those questions. If I had written “what is this boy like?” in the white space, I might create my own answer in another area of the page. “This boy is a good boy.”

Best Movies About Love of All Time

I don't think you're ready for this jelly list of the best movies about love of ALL time, in my opinion of course. So pick up some cake pops, make a Trader Joe's pizza, and watch these this weekend—or tomorrow if you call out of work.

1. Star Wars Episode IV: If you want a story about a sarcastic mercenary who DOESN’T give up on an up-tight space princess, Han Solo’s story is one to covet.  He’s cute, persistent, honest and he flies space ships. Get the popcorn!

2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: This movie sucks; every time I watch it I choke on my own tears and horrific memories of past relationships and I hate how it makes me feel during and afterward. But you should watch it because it's pretty good...in a I-hate-myself-for-watching-this-but-I-want-to-know-what-everyone's-talking-about sort of way.

3. Waiting to Exhale: Even though Whitney Houston didn't learn much from this movie (Bob-bayy), you could. Waiting for the guy/girl you're seeing to dump their SPOUSE? Not so sure if the guy you're seeing is straight? Suspicious of cheating? This is your movie.

4. Waitress: Who doesn't love a story about a married, pregnant girl who works a minimum wage job and hates her husband? Plus she has a fantastic, cynical sense of humor and bakes a lot of pie.

5. Me Without You: This is a story about best friends, British people, punk, love, affairs with college professors—now we’re talking—and waiting long enough for your dreamboat of a soul mate. It’s weird but oddly enchanting and who doesn’t love Michelle Williams pre-Dawson’s Creek?

6. When Harry Met Sally: Everything you ever need to know about relationships is learned here first. If you haven't seen this, unlearn everything you know about love, watch this, and then see where you're at.

7. The Artist: I threw this in here for funsies. It's not a movie that teaches you a lesson or anything but it's good and it'll help you forget about the issues you think you have for 100 minutes.

8. Silver Linings Playbook: If you haven’t seen this, SEE this. I know it’s not out on DVD yet so just stream it illegally or watch it in parts on YouTube. The best part about this movie is you can convince men to see it because it’s not all full of emotion in a disgusting, in-your-face, Notebook sort of way—it’s real, it's raw and who knew Bradley Cooper could act?

9. Casablanca: Have you seen this movie? No? What are you doing with your life? SEE this movie.

10. Lars and the Real Girl: Ryan Gosling in love with a sex doll? I mean, HELLO! Why are you just NOW seeing this? There's really nothing more to this movie: sex doll + Ryan Gosling. Do you need anything more?

Should I even mention Titanic? No? Okay…

Weigh in: what's your favorite movie about love?

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Lingerie Giveaway

Madame Liberty teamed up with BWB for Valentine's Day and are giving one lucky BWB reader this gorgeous lingerie set!

For a chance to win this lingerie set, all YOU have to do is leave a comment below!

This is open to U.S. and international residents! Giveaway ends Saturday 2/16/13 and I'll announce the winner Sunday night.

UPDATE: I'd like to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who commented, re-tweeted and shared this! You're all wonderful followers.

On that note, congrats to Jessica Gretz! Contact me to claim this prize at: Jessica AT blogwithbenefits DOT com--subject "Madame Liberty Giveaway."

To everyone who commented, say tuned for future giveaways!

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Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Black History Month! And I guess Valentine's Day...

It's a real pity I'm JUST seeing these amazing cards. There's even one for the haters (see below), yay!

Anyway, as a person who genuinely appreciates a Hallmark holiday that gives me an excuse to eat absurd amounts of artificially colored sweets and send people chocolate roses, I'm wishing you a Happy Valentine's Day/Week, because in case you didn't hear, you don't have to give/receive something to/from the opposite sex:

It's totally okay to send yourself flowers at work (what a show off) and bake a batch of heart-shaped brownies for your own enjoyment. Just consider it a "me" day.

Happy Valentine's Day

If you want these cool Valentine's Day cards to send to your crush/bf/gf/bff/ex, go HERE.

Who is actually sending/giving out Valentine's Day cards this year? Do you ever get too old?

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There they were: five gorgeous babes all in white tee's devouring burgers -- I was in aw. I was flustered. I was gawking at a free poster featuring the Backstreet Boys eating Burger King Whoppers that came with my subscription of Teen People. I was 14. I was in love.

Who here has actually experienced love at first sight? Be honest. I want to know. And none of that Catfish shit.

Having grown up and OUT of my BSB stage, it's hard to say whether or not this is a real thing or some made up Nicholas Sparks stuff.

What do you guys think? Is love at first sight possible?

Love at first sight can happen at any given moment and around every corner. A flirty glance and a playful smile could be the beginning of a love that lasts forever. Renowned director and screenwriter, Steven Antin, best known for his film Burlesque, directed this heartfelt and lighthearted story about a chance meeting between two strangers, which blossoms into a passionate fairy tale romance that eventually becomes everlasting love.

Definitely trust a guy who...

I know ya'll love the "Never Trust A Guy Who..." series, but in an effort to not sound so negative Nancy Drew in my effort to help you date the right people, I want you to stop focusing on the bad stuff and start focusing on the good stuff--at least for this post and then you can go back to focusing on the bad stuff.

So ladies, and gents, definitely trust a guy who...

Isn't perfect: just because he didn't go to Harvard, isn't a doctor or doesn't have a Nobel Peace Prize, doesn't mean he lacks depth, intelligence and can't speak a second language. Have you heard of Rosetta Stone? Pft, who needs grad school? I mean, how do you really relate to someone who's serious about wearing Armani Exchange anyway? Besides, the guy who graduated from ITT Tech and has a lucrative career that makes HIM happy might make you MORE happy than Mr. La Di Da Designer Pants.

Has a weird habit, laugh or nervous tendency: take a look in the mirror!

Has mom, dad, family issues, etc.: you're not always probably never going to find someone who's family tree looks like the Brady Bunch's so don't shame someone for not having a family history only TV Land could offer. He's probably a perfectly good guy anyway.

Didn't get you off the first time: maybe he was nervous or maybe he can't read your mind...duh...speak up!

How to meet the parents for the first time

So it’s time to meet your S/O’s parents. Clearly, you don’t want to fuck it up by being an impolite, poorly dressed, bore. I don’t want you to fail, and I KNOW you don’t want you to fail. There are no second chances people: parents decide your fate.

First things first: look in the mirror. Is your hemline above your fingertips? Can I see your clear, sparkly bra straps? Does your normal attire look like a Halloween costume? If you said “yes” to any of that, grab an L.L. Bean catalog right now and order some new clothes. You know that person who said you can never be underdressed for an interview? Meeting parents for the first time is just like an interview, and if you don’t believe me, ask Jeeves.

Try something that covers you up, hides tattoos (don’t scare mom) and don’t wear shirts that are screen printed with messages that may make people question your life decisions like “F*ck Bitches, Make $$$.” Also, don’t forget to groom. Why do I even have to tell you that?

Now that you’re dressed appropriately and in the presence of mom and dad, shake hands. You’re not going to land the role of “daughter/son-in-law” by waving from ten feet away, you putz. Extend your arm and give a firm one…but not too firm, you're don't want to be remembered as the one with the really, really strong shake.

Next, you’re going to want to channel your inner Pixar and exercise a warm, bubbly personality that’s hidden deep under all those layers of you: think Snow White or that Kia salesman you hate but can’t help liking because he gives you hot dogs and holds doors open.

Also, don’t forget to sit cross legged at all times if wearing a skirt, ladies. Mom and dad don't need to see your Calvin Kleins, and if you don't wear underwear, now's the time to.

Before you RSVP, ask your S/O about his parents (if you haven’t already, which you should have): What do they do for a living? Where are they from? What are their hobbies? Are they vegan? Now that you’re inundated with a library of knowledge about them, you’re ready to engage, and I don’t know, impress them with everything you know about faux chicken nuggets. Mind blowing.

Gratuitous gestures are always pleasing like arriving with a “nice” bottle of $6 Shiraz or a veggie tray if you’ve been invited to their home for dinner. Or, you could be a real saint and stop standing around like you’re effing Amelia Bloomer and help in the kitchen; offer to prep meals, set the table or do some laundry, and insist!

Next you’re going to want to corner the family members, not literally though. Make nice with siblings, grandma’s and neighbors, play catch or sit in on an episode of Storage Wars; this is about bonding and showing you’re interested in what’s most important to your S/O.

Now that you’re besties with everyone, and practically a hit (don’t get ahead of yourself, I said practically), thank the hosts. Shake hands or hug, whatever you’re in the mood for – that Shiraz creeps up on ya!

Don’t talk about politics, religion, homosexuality or rivaling sports teams. If they ask you, stay neutral.

Put your phone, tablet, laptop, pager, and Snap Chat away. You’re on their time, not “me” time.

No groping.

I watched this video and it got me thinking about what love means and a pair of aviators I misplaced that I should find and possibly start wearing indoors. Possibly.

Is life ultimately about being on a quest for love resulting in us falling in love, then out, then back in? Or are we supposed to "go with the flow, and keep it rolling"?

Put your aviators on, watch the video and share your thoughts.


A story about a guy who made a move on his dream girl...

Love Story No. 9: Being bold and making a move

I found her: my dream girl. It was love at first sight, if such a thing exists. She sat at a crowded bar in Los Angeles with two of her girlfriends. She was gorgeous― an angel in her own right. Now, I'd like to point out I'm not the kind of guy who hits on random girls at a bar. Merely the thought of talking to a pretty girl is enough to make my stomach hurt. But I had to say something.

"I would be angry with myself if I left without talking to her," I told my friends. They taunted and prodded me until I agreed to approach to her. But what should I say? How do you stand out from the other 500,000 single males in the city? Being a guy is tough sometimes.

You’re supposed to display confidence, but not be a douche bag. You're supposed to flirt, but not be a creep. And you're supposed to make the first move.

I finally gathered enough courage (read: drank enough beer) to make my approach.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I just wanted to say that I think you're an
effortless beauty."

"Thank you."

"I'm Chad," I said while extending my hand. She shook it. Electricity flowed from her fingertips into mine, up my arm, and into my chest. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. Before she could tell me her name, I asked if I could play her a song. She looked confused but nodded yes.

definition of love, what is love, love, kiss, couple kissing

I love/am emotionally attached to a lot of things: Chapstick, socks with non-slip pads on their underside, wooden hangers because they make me feel special, new pillows and celebrity meltdowns, but is that love? Is that the kind of deep euphoric love that Tom Cruise freaked the fuck out about on Oprah's couch? Eh.

Love isn’t circumstantial or one-sided; it isn’t telling guys you’re taken at da club or buying a $750,000 Lambo for your boyfriend of a nano-second (Cough, KIMYE), love is more than that.

Love is being the biggest cheerleader for someone there ever was. It’s like being Kirsten Dunst in Bring it On, but you’re rooting for your bf/gf all the time, and for everything from getting their dream job to getting a car loan approved. It’s truly wanting him/her to succeed in anything they apply themselves to and believing – not thinking – they’re the damn best at what they do.

It’s wanting someone to be happy and wanting to protect this person from any evils in the world like jerky bosses, bullies and terrorists. It’s also being concerned about someone’s well-being, more than your own sometimes, because if he/she gets swine flu or in a street fight, you would feel that person's pain and…just, no. Don't go there.



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