Never trust a girl who...
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Is a slob: You know when you meet someone who seems super put-together, and then you go in their apartment and it looks like T.J.Maxx after Black Friday? Don’t trust her; even if she pulls the sexiest lingerie from a pile of her crap, there's absolutely nothing sexy about a messy person.

Never trust a girl who openly fights on Twitter. What’s on the internet is forever, like that LiveJournal you once blogged on, and besides, it’s unladylike to talk shit on social networks. And it's a lazy approach anyway, at least date a girl who's willing to meet on the black top and take care of business!

Makes you watch Twilight but won’t watch something you want to watch. How fucking rude.

Isn't sure who her baby daddy is.

Never trust a girl who orders a salad at a steak house. She will never be any fun, ever.

Never asks how YOU are! Jeez, the whole world doesn't revolve around her!

Doesn't vote: be a man and date a woman who stands for something other than fighting frizz.

Home-wrecked a family, aka, her nanny days are over.

Sepia tones and puts a fancy Instagram filter on every selfie she takes of herself. What does she really look like anyway?

“Likes” her ex’s photos and statuses’ on Facebook all the time.

Has “why does everyone think I’m a slut?” syndrome.

Types everything in Comic Sans font, and I mean everything: emails, blog posts, holiday cards, grocery lists - RUN!

Boys, have you ever dated a girl who had untrustworthy qualities? Do tell!

SEE OTHER POSTS LIKE THIS: NEVER TRUST A GIRL WHO...

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I met Stranger when I was a wee sophomore at college, right after transferring 3000 miles to a new school. I had left my boyfriend at home, believing we could make the incredibly long-distance relationship work. And believe it or not, worked for seven months- until I met Stranger.

I knew it was trouble the instant I laid eyes on him. Stunningly handsome, impeccably dressed, alarmingly confident, and oh-so-smooth. He was the definition of a ladies man, and I urged myself to stay far away. But after constant run-ins at social functions, my fear turned into curiosity. Who was the man behind the clever mask? No one could be that calm, collected, and confident all of
the time. So we became friends. Then we became roommates. And I became (conveniently) single.

We lived together in a tiny attic-apartment above a doctor’s office downtown. We shared a room (and bed) and quickly fell into a lover’s pattern. I made him breakfast as he played video games, then he delivered me to ecstasy in a frenzy of passion and pheromones each night. The sex was unlike anything I’d ever experienced or thought I ever could experience. It was earth shattering, mind-blowing, looking-into-the-face-of-God amazing. So of course, I believed we were in love. What else could explain our amazing physical connection?

Well, love, it was not. Unbeknownst to little na├»ve me, Stranger was seeing someone else while we were rolling around in the sheets. I moved out, he moved on, and I was left behind with a “broken” heart.

But in time I realized my heart had not been broken. I had, in fact, never loved Stranger at all. I was infatuated, yes. Carnally attracted, yes, but in love? No. We were drawn together by primal instincts- not by our souls. He was the first person I had made love to without being in love. That confused me, but soon the thought excited me. I wouldn’t have to wait for Prince Charming to come along before having amazingly wonderful sex- I could have it with non soul mates, too!

Again, I was wrong. The sex Stranger and I had could not be replicated with any off-the-block boy. After things ended with Stranger, I began dating and always ended up disappointed. None compared to his fingers in my hair or his lips against my skin. And it seemed none of the girls he saw compared to me. We continued to meet up at least one night a month for almost two years. It was our blissful, sinful secret.

Four months ago, Stranger moved away from our college town. On his last night here, we didn’t sleep together, but reminisced of our days in the attic apartment above the doctor’s office. We had drinks with his parents. And he finally proved that there is something behind his mask, confirming that our connection is bizarre but real. There is more than just sex there.

I’ve quit trying to define it, to explain it. He is not my lover, my boyfriend, or even my friend. He is my Stranger. He is someone to count on- both emotionally and physically. But primarily physically. And that is A-ok with me.

-Anonymous; 23, Charleston, SC


  
If you have a love story you'd like to share, email me at: Jessica@blogwithbenefits.com

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The Man's Guide To Love #78 from themansguidetolove on Vimeo.

Do you agree that authenticity is one of the most important things in a relationship? Why or why not and has it worked for you like it worked for our buddy Ken?

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Anjelina jolie single people ben and jerry's ice crea


Did you know that having a fear of being single is an actual condition? It’s called anuptaphobia. It’s what those people who go back and forth between “single,” “it’s complicated” and “in a relationship” on Facebook have. Isn’t that cool? Now you can post this on your friend's wall! JK.

So to all you people who are afraid of dumping your no-good girlfriend/boyfriend because you’re afraid of losing your cuddle buddy, and to all you people who just got out of relationships, are claiming your life is over and you’re going to end up alone: get over yourselves.

You're not going to be bored–you will have a life: I don't know where you heard that all single people do is sit around playing Words with Friends while they wait for Postmates deliveries, but I've got news for you: single people are busy. In fact, they're probably busier than you were when you were shoveling Tostino's Pizza Rolls into your exe's mouth while you binged Law and Order every weekend. Just think of all the free time you'll have to do the stuff you couldn't do when you were in a relationship, like pee with the door open and marathon the Bachelor!

You're not ugly: Oh gee, you just got dumped, and now you suddenly look like Roseanne Barr. Right. Ya look the same as ya did yesterday, so stop complaining about about how you think “no one will want you.”

You're NOT a loser: Being single doesn't make you a loser! There are a lot of intelligent, law-abiding, charity donating, single people in this world who will kick your single ass if you keep calling yourself (aka, all the other single people) a loser.

You're not a failure: There's nothing wrong with you other than the pity party you keep throwing for yourself. Not everything works out, and just because this person wasn't your soul mate doesn't mean you're tainted and un-dateable. Hasn’t your mother ever told you that if you’re dating the wrong person, you can’t find the right person? Or maybe that was Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants that said that. Same difference.

You WILL meet someone: News flash! Single people are not extinct! They're still out there making Bumble profiles and text message dumping people they're not into, so get over it! You WILL go on dates. According to some study made by some dude, there are 102 million single people in the world, so think about that.

we are never ever getting back together


1. Tell the person how horrible and mean they are with a megaphone. Bonus points if it's in a crowded public place like the mall or Target.

2. Have your mom do it.

3. Pretend you have amnesia.

4. Be honest: reference every awful, cringe-worthy specific reason that made you decide you’re never getting back together.

5. Write a song like “you oughta know” and send it to your local radio station (if this were the 90s).

6. Change your phone number, move, and send a post card saying “look for me and I’ll have you hurt.”

7. Make a PowerPoint presentation showcasing why you’re not getting back together. Bonus points for pie charts and graphs.

8. Well don’t have sex again, obvi.

9. Get a plane to write it in the sky, but don’t if you’re not a young money millionaire. If you're poor just write it in on their driveway with chalk or whipped cream. And don't forget to sign it.

10. Lie and say you have a really terrible STD you got while cheating and you’d hate to pass it on.

11. Make an online dating profile and send him/her the link.

12. Give him/her a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You.

13. Call him/her when you know they’re at work or busy to leave a VM saying you’re done 4 eva.

14. Become a country pop star, write a song about it, make a music video and then get it to air on MTV.

15. Write a book about it because you're 20-something and you haven't written a book yet? You should feel bad about that.

16. Try to get your story on an episode of Maury. Bonus points for Cheaters.

PS. Tay Swift, are you sure we're not angsty soul mates?


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