Wednesday, October 17, 2012

What to do on Halloween


Halloween costumes leopard outfit

It's almost Halloween! It's the best time of year besides the day we get our tax return (unless you owe money or are running from the IRS). So if you don't know what to do this year - whether you're single, in a relationship or bored - here are some ideas:

FOR THE ROMANTIC:
You can go to a haunted house and pretend to be scared and meet a hot monster to fall in love with.

You can re-enact the scene in Ghost when Patrick Swayze sits behind Demi Moore while she's making her clay pot, except your clay pot will be a pumpkin and you'll be scraping the seeds out of that sucker with your bare hands. Hot.



FOR THE HORNY:
You can "bob for apples." I put the quotes there so you know it's a dirty innuendo.

You can dress up as Russell Brand pre-Katy Perry (sex addict) on Oct 31 and really play the part (wink wink).

You can play adult “trick or treat” with someone. Naughty.

FOR PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO SELF-LOATHE:
Instead of handing out the bag of mini Snickers you bought for trick or treaters, buy a bag of cheap hard candy, the stuff no one likes, put it in some Tupperware out front, turn your lights off, and eat the mini Snickers on your couch while watching Hocus Pocus.

FOR THE REVENGEFUL:
You can find out what your ex is doing on Halloween, dress up in complete disguise, and hit on him/her all night, then SURPRISE!

FOR THE DESPERATE:
You can carve your phone number and/or Twitter handle into a pumpkin and put it outside your door. That could be fun.

Since it doesn't matter who you reflect on, you can dress up like a slutty banana.

If you’re already slutty, you can paint a banana on yourself with body paint.

FOR THE BORED: 
You can dress your cat up in a Superman outfit and Instagram the shit out of it without a care in the world.

You can stare at this photo of Mr. Rogers putting on a Freddy Krueger costume.

You can learn the dance to "Thriller" because it's ah-maze-ing
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