The other day I was cleaning out some boxes of old stuff I kept from my teeny bopper years and found wadded up photo's of Paul Walker and Justin Timberlake that I once had pressed to the cover of my three-ringed-binder in high school.
You see, when I was 14, I had nothing better to do than fantasize about celebrities that were unattainable, so for funsies, here’s a list of all the boys I thought I was in love with up until…not that long ago (well not all of them, just the ones I had it bad for). Don’t judge.
Erik Von Detten: This was Disney's fault. He was in that Brink! movie and I was dumb. Then he came back in The Princess Diaries and I was so smitten. Basically, Disney kept regurgitating him so I had no choice NOT to like him!
The oldest son from Home Improvement, aka Zachery Ty Bryan: I don't really know why I had a crush on him. I think it's because my family liked Home Improvement and in an effort to find something enjoyable out of watching that over Nickelodeon (because we didn't have it), I grew a crush on blue eyes over here.
Matthew Lawrence: I loved him, like, really loved him. He was my everything.
Justin Timberlake (‘NSYNC years): Today, I would never go for that Top Ramen hair, but in junior high, I wanted to run my fingers through it while whispering sweet nothings in his ears. I was SO in love with him. It was pathetic. In fact, I didn't even want to believe the rumors about him dating that tramp Britney Spears, but when MTV aired Diary: Britney Spears, it was confirmed and boy was it a sad, sad day. PS. can we talk about that photo above?
Nick Carter: I was a strict and loyal ‘NSYNC fan, so liking Nick Carter was out of the question; however, one time Seventeen magazine had this pull-out poster of the Backstreet Boys in a Burger King ad inside an issue and it was love at first site. I taped that baby on my wall and was of course, infatuated. I guess I had something with blondes who spiked their hair.
Ben Affleck: It began with Armageddon and ended with that movie Pearl Harbor. I had to see it the day it came out. I envisioned what it would be like if we were a couple in my head: does that make me sound crazy?
Matt Damon: Just because Ben Affleck got boring.
The guy from the Real World/Road Rules Challenge: DON'T ASK. I don't even know! He looks like a Caucasian Guido who could have been a contestant on the Bachelor but for some reason, he got my teenage blood flowing. I think I was just bored with Matt Damon.
Paul mothafuckin Walker: Okay, this doesn't leave this blog post, but one time my friend and I thought we knew where he lived so we drove to his house to sneak a peek. Nothing happened of course, but yeah.
Brandon Boyd: He was/is a total babe with a microphone. Teenage dreams.
Joaquin Phoenix circa Walk the Line, not circa his hip-hop album: Admit it, he was hot. There was something about the scar on his upper lip and his mysterious asshole-tude that had me going crazy.
John Mayer: Boyfriend was hot for a period of time. Not when he was singing about wonderlands and shit, but when he was all up in Jessica Simpson's pants. Bitch. Now he looks like Johnny Depp's distant cousin from Kentucky, but whatever, the man had it going on for a while and I was in lurve.
Penn Badgley: When I was really into tween TV shows starring girls named Black Lively, I was in like with him. He was so attractive for 42 minutes every Tuesday night.
Kid Cudi: When he was on that show about hipsters living in New York: How to Make it in America.
Justin Timberlake circa the present: He shaved off his bleached tips and I was all "helloooo sir."
Who were your crushes?
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