jon hamm ask a grown man

Rookie Magazine has a series called "Ask a Grown Man" featuring celebrities like Paul Rudd, B.J. Novak and most recently Mr. Jon Hammy ham ham answering pressing questions submitted by teenage girls about life, boys, crushes, and all that warm fuzzy stuff that happens in your teen years. See the video below:

Oh, and because I love her, here's an interview with Kiernan Shipka who plays Sally Draper. She's the cutest little button.

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Derek Jeter shirtless

Never trust a guy who doesn't tip and/or doesn't tip servers well. Tipping is a sign of politeness and gratitude and if he can’t find it in himself to tip someone who keeps his eight glasses of Dr. Pepper full – lite ice – he’s never going to be grateful for the things you do. The more you know.

Never trust a guy who hands out his business card at a bar on a Friday night. Who does he think he is, the Don Juan of Wall Street?

Never trust a guy who makes a quick judgment about ANY of your friends or family members (especially if you just started dating!). Even if your brother is a prejudice asshole who wears too much cologne, that's for you to say, not him. 

Never trust a guy who's Facebook profile photos have a different girl in each one. He doesn’t just "happen" to be surrounded by beautiful women all the time, it's either a rolodex of ex-girlfriends or a rolodex of girls he doesn't really know, but thinks are hot and would like to know, so he gave them a dollar for a photo. And then they walked away.

Never trust a guy who uses a MySpace, still

Never trust a guy who changed his screen name on a social network that dubs him king of something. IE: BeerPongPrince, TheWomanMaster or BestontheWest – I'm going to stop now because I'm making myself sick.

Never trust a guy who wears Hawaiian shirts unless he's Tommy Bahama or your Dad. Do I really need to give you a reason?

Never trust a guy who "likes" photos of girls in pasties on their spring break on Facebook. You don’t want to be with someone who does things like that. Everyone can see that activity and that’s just embarrassing, come on now.

Never trust a guy who initiates contact with you by poking on Facebook. Unless all you want is a relationship full of poking, theoretically and physically, then I guess you can trust him.

Never trust a guy who has all his information hidden on Facebook and don't give me that "but he's just private" bull. How strange is it that you can't see his friends, his comments, his photos, his information, his everything? What's he doing on there? Who’s he poking? What's he hiding?

hipster hot guys new music Cutty Gold
Sam Wilkes, left and Bert White,right

They say long distance relationships don’t work, but Cutty Gold has managed to debunk this rumor. Last spring, Sam Wilkes of New York, and Bert White of Los Angeles, met at a dive bar in Echo Park – Gold Room – through mutual friends, and now, a year later, they've birthed an EP of catchy surf-pop songs full of soulful vocals that are sure to make you reminisce that 60s Motown sound and maybe even soothe a broken heart. 

Jessica: Describe Cutty Gold in three words:
Sam: Naughty
Bert: Alive and Rowdy [laughs]. We gotta laugh a bit and not take ourselves too seriously. These kinds of things are always inexact too. 

How old are you?
Bert: 22.
Sam: 21.

From what I’ve heard on your EP, it seems like you sing a lot about relationships, is this what you mostly like to write your songs about?
Bert: I’d say we mainly write about love in all its glory and disasters.
Sam: Yeah love is a common theme. Though, we also like to write about being young and making mistakes in a messy world.

You [Bert] mentioned that your song "Sweet Sunday" is about getting over a break-up that's sort of lingering in your mind - something that you can't quite get over - is this about a great love? A terrible relationship that was so jarring it caused PTSD? What's it about?
Bert: [laughs] The song is about a pretty intense breakup of mine, and being caught up and dwelling on that breakup too intensely for far too long. For me it’s a song about redemption. Sunday isn't an arbitrary symbol or choice. In part it represents a closing (of a week) and opening of new possibility, all at once: a death and the birth of something new. It was us figuring out that anguish is necessary to move on.

girlfriend same as your ex
Photo by Rhyan A. Santos

Your next girlfriend won’t be exactly like your last. She will have a different laugh, different taste in clothes, a different favorite song, and maybe even like her eggs different, but there will be a few things you’ll notice about her that are similar to what your ex’s have done. Things you thought only Emily, Rebecca or Holly did. Things all women tend to do – even your mom or your sister – and that no matter what relationship you’re in, you will find the habits repeating themselves.

She too will present "what if" scenarios. What if she had no legs? What If she was really fat? What if humans milked cats instead of cows? She won’t do it to arouse profound thought, she will never do it for that reason, but she will do it because her mind wanders and she finds great humor in her own quips, and because she loves you – or at least likes you – she’s comfortable sharing her strange thoughts.

She too will be tearful over things that don’t normally provoke strong emotions on or around her period. It's her hormones and she can’t help it. She will start thinking about things that are going right in her life, like you, as things that could go wrong and then on her drive home from work or when she’s having dinner with you, she will turn into a blubbery mess of tears over something she was indifferent about three days prior or how much she loves you. As long as women have ovaries, women will have PMS. 

She too will secretly compare herself to other women because she can't help it. Sometime between the premiere of Dawson’s Creek and junior high, she got the idea that beauty was often only Vanity Fair deep and ever since then – even when she usually feels most comfortable in her own body – she will see a photo of a debonair celebrity with flat abs and bodacious curves and feel like she needs to go on a bikini diet for summer. It's in that moment and maybe the next week or so, that she feels it would be nice to not feel those extra three pounds on her hips. 

She too will always think it’s okay to have dessert for dinner on a bad day, or for breakfast, or for dessert to her dessert. Sometimes dessert is more like a verb than a noun to her and sometimes she desserts more than once a day.

She too will watch trashy reality television, even if you think she doesn’t (because she said she doesn’t). She will turn the TV on after a long day and zone out during a marathon of Ice Loves Coco. She may not even realize what’s happening as it takes her over or how she even got to that channel, but it will happen. It’s more so woman nature than human nature.  

She too will always tell her best friend everything because her best friend is like her doctor. She knows her history of men, sex, jobs, family problems, bad haircuts – everything. She knows what and who is good for her and what and who is bad and she's the one who will be there when or if you're ever gone. There’s no science to it. You may be her best friend, but her best girl friend is the one who knows all at the end of the day.

Results may vary, and by vary, I mean she may watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey instead of Ice Loves Coco.

How men deal with a break-up louis vuitton
Photo source, unknown

The Break-Up Bloodsport

Although popular culture doesn’t contain many examples, the American male handles relationships in a similar fashion to Malcom X’s approach to civil rights – “By Any Means Necessary.” Famous break-up movies (we can go down the list, I won’t waste your time) have created a myth that men seek to mend their broken hearts by becoming raging alcoholics or sensitive romantics. In a more laughable contrast, Hollywood paints the picture of men with broken hearts seeking advice from their sister a la Lloyd Dobbler in Say Anything. Let me be clear – if a guy has a sister, he either ignores her or beats up her boyfriend. That’s the extent of the relationship.

Today, for some mind-numbing reason, the image of the disheveled quirky hipster seems to have captured the imagination of America. This unexplainable fascination with spoiled rich kids that ‘rebel’ by adorning wordy tattoos and vintage underwear has led to a new image of the male breakup experience: men are like boys, they are sad puppy-eyed fools that create mix tapes and cry in the shower. Today’s James Dean wears a cardigan sweater and horn-rimmed glasses. This trend actually offends me and with that said, fuck Michael Cera. Here is the reality of how men deal with break-ups – not the comic-book version.

Men, by their very nature, approach a breakup with the ferocity of wounded animal seeking food in the wilderness. We do not complain or vent – we challenge our ‘ex’ to a battle of the sexes by any means necessary. Although popular culture, in turn reality, has done away with the ‘bad ass’ rebel without a cause, men will always aspire to be rebels in one form or another. Stripped away of our BlackBerry, flannel shirt, and Ray-Ban glasses – men are savage animals that love sex and violence (ideally, we’d like to combine the two). We’re more like Jack Nicholson from Five Easy Pieces than Joseph Gordon-Levitt from 500 Days of I Have No Balls. While women drink mimosas with the girls and take Instagram photos of their manicured toes; men isolate, hibernate, and look at photos of Suicide Girls. Women who get ‘dumped’ or agree to a mutual break-up (history has never recorded a genuine mutual break-up) eat chocolate cake and go dancing; men, the real red-blooded ones, will start an impromptu fight on the basketball court and drink large amounts of whiskey, alone.  Rebounds for women tend to be a new boyfriend – someone that “understands them” or supports their hobby. For men, a rebound is either a basketball statistic or having sex with a stranger in the backseat of a muscle car. Women change their Facebook relationship status (ouch); men delete their Facebook, get a tattoo, and take up a very dangerous hobby like Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. We go to long baseball games, turn off our cell-phones, and never watch romantic-comedies. Women watch romantic-comedies and have a ‘good cry’ with the girls. Yuck.

Fair enough, this all sounds a bit insensitive. But let me be the first to say that men, myself included, never ‘get over’ a true love. Much like soldiers never forget about their fallen comrades, men don’t forget those special moments: the long walks, slow kisses, and scent of her hair on your pillow. However, unlike women, we don’t seek closure or approval from our friends. A break-up for an American male, believe or not, is a permanent wound that will never heal. Women, in contrast, will hold on to keepsakes of their relationships (unless he cheated on her).  For a man, holding on to the past is too painful. Women tend to start dating the man they always dreamt about: their father, with muscles and money. Men don’t fantasize about their parents – we simply go after the first girl that wants to have sex and loves bowling. We never remember the ex-girlfriend’s birthday, don’t care about her career aspirations, and could care less about her puppy (living or dead). It might sound cruel, but men seek complete isolation that leads to a triumphant return to life as a bachelor.  Women, God bless them, are strangled by the noose of nostalgia and love old photos. Men, possessed by the Devil, strive to destroy their old relationship and create a new one that hurts even more. We are masochists and somehow find virtue in the break-up bloodsport.

Malcom X said it best: “Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.”

Many thanks to Art Tavana who donated the male perspective to BWB. Art is a writer, bass player and Film Noir buff. He has an undiagnosed Hemingway Complex and would unashamedly trade in his car for an authentic Legend of Zelda Triforce Shield. You can follow him on Twitter @ArtinTweets and check out his weekly ‘Retrogiggle’ column on HelloGiggles.



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