Monday, April 2, 2012

Never trust a guy who...

chevy chase fletch

Ladies and gentlemen, never trust a guy who:

Asks you out over a Twitter DM. Oh honey, no. Twitter is no place to make date plans and 140 characters is no way to get to know anyone. If he can't figure out how to get your phone number or ask you out in real life (face-to-face), he's no man you should trust.


Never trust a guy who tYpEs LyKe tHiS in emails, tweets or texts. Oh, and REALLY never trust him if he writes like that on paper. Gross. You're going to regret that decision 4 lyfe.

Never trust a guy who minds your interests - whatever they may be - like frozen yogurt, your secret obsession with Taylor Swift or tweeting pictures of your nails. If he likes YOU, he will accompany you while you pile fruity pebbles and bananas into your fro yo cup. I'm serious, don't fight me on that. 

Never trust a guy who wants to get exclusive after two dates. Three dates, maybe, but two? Hell no!

Never trust a guy who doesn't take "no" for an answer when you turn him down after the "let's get exclusive" after two dates talk. If he keeps pestering you, questioning you and won't drop it, he's needy/obsessive, party of one.

Never trust a guy who says his ex was a stripper. Unless you're a stripper, then don't worry about it. You're totally his type.

Never trust a guy who calls you two weeks after a date: unless he was on an African safari, in the hospital or kidnapped, he spent the last two weeks with another girl(s) who didn't work out in his favor, so he resorted to asking you out again. Next.

Never trust a guy who won’t leave his cell phone anywhere and/or flips out if you touch it - even if it's just to see the time or look at it because it’s a pretty iPhone - just don't. Something's up! REMEMBER I WARNED YOU.

Never trust a guy who texts you "accidentally" because he's got the "wrong" number all the time, especially when you never gave him your number. It's not cute, it's strange. 

Never trust a guy who actually tweets those spam porn bots on Twitter because that's nasty and you know it.

11 comments :

  1. Haha! Twitter DMs. Classic.

    You are so right!

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  2. Twitter DM's really? That happens!? Where was this list when I was single? The 18 year old version of me could have used your advice.

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  3. Urgh, I don't think you should trust ANYONE who spells words differently even when their version has the same amount of characters eg like/lyke - and I'm totally with you on the stripper front!
    xxx

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  4. Same thing goes for Facebook inbox. Guys adding you just because they think you are "cute" or that you have one friend in common and thus they feel like that bonds you forever. Mmmm No.

    Guys like that just get on my nerves.

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  5. @Joslin, wish I was around in your teens! But maybe someone else in their teens can find this useful!

    @Scarlett: lyke, prolly, c u l8ter, NO WAY!

    @Colette: say no to random fb adds/messages.. Unless they are clothed and seem normal.

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  6. Never trust a blogger who goes about changing shiz and not telling you! I almost very nearly and dramatically had a heart attack when I typed you into my address bar and you weren't there, this smarmy google-bot f*cker told me that you weren't there and they couldn't help me further, (dick! Not you... the google-bot) Seriously I did this huge over the top NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, The Chef came running to my aid. I didn't need his white knight bit, I was being a drama queen, but for reals, don't so that to me EVER again! Ok... rant over... I liked your post... boys are shit... sometimes... be on your guard!

    Love Elle xo

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  7. SO SORRY! I was a dummy and didn't do a forwarding address from the old domain, but trust, this site isn't going anywhere! But your comment was still funny!!

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  8. It better not lady so that's why I gave you an award... I think you are probs far too cool to buy into all that internet bloggy business BUT as you are one of my all time faves I nominated you for a little trophy. (Well not a real trophy, but virtual winning is still winning) And this means that you can't go about changing shit on a whim without notifying me because well... I'm the chick who awarded you... so there :p

    Come and have a look if nothing else http://skylarkingnanny.blogspot.fr/2012/04/award-pour-moi-mon-dieu.html

    Love Elle xo

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  9. "Never trust a guy who won’t leave his cell phone anywhere and/or flips out if you touch it - even if it's just to see the time or look at it because it’s a pretty iPhone - just don't. Something's up! REMEMBER I WARNED YOU." - This is the best advice in the world.

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  10. Will you go out with me?

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  11. i completely agree with TYpeinG lYKe thIS thInG!!! I have experienced a guy like this.. and tell you what... its hell annoyiinggGGG!!!

    ReplyDelete

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