Dear w4m or w4w or m4w or m4m - whoever you are,

I'm presenting you a tangent because I’ve had a revelation and I want to make my revelation rain on all of you.

There's this thing that happens somewhere between seeing Titanic for the first time and high school and that's that we create this crazy, unrealistic idea of a bf/gf that includes a detailed list of good vs. bad and acceptable vs. unacceptable.

We make a checklist of what personality traits we want, what we’re attracted to and what we will accept and if someone doesn't fit that criteria, even by the smallest of margins like having too loud of a laugh or not thinking Interpol’s Turn on the Bright Lights album is like, pure gold, they’re like, out of the picture.

Then we sit on the couch with a tub of ice cream, or beef jerky, or those pointy cheesy chips you stick on the tips of your fingers watching crap you only watch to pass the time saying "I'm going to be single for life,” while clawing at your face with your cheesy fingertips.

ENOUGH: you’re being too judgy (that’s not a word, I know, but let me use it).

The reality of this dream dating world we live in, is that it leaves us alone – with NO ONE – wondering what's wrong with us and why we can't find a boyfriend or girlfriend.

What’s wrong with us, IS us.

We say “no” so nonchalantly dismissing these perfectly dateable people and truly believing someone else who better suits the fragmented picture of  our ideal lovah will be dropped off by cupid the next day.

Whoever said "there are a million fish in the sea" is kind of a liar, because if there were, would you really be on the couch wiping your tears with your chip fingers? And even though "there are a million fish in the sea," you wouldn't date the majority of them because you see a weird band on their iPod or that they "like" Twilight on Facebook and get grossed out.

So who is good enough for you, because your criteria in the opposite sex is starting to look like Kanye West’s dressing room request's and you just aren’t going to find a seedless cantaloupe, nah’ I mean?

I’m not saying you should exclude people with common interests, beliefs, etc., because it’s good to have those common grounds, or date someone who makes you so uncomfortable you’re taking Dramamine to lessen nausea before seeing him/her,  I’m just asking you to get a hold of yourself and be open to more people.

Open yourself up, date the person who doesn’t know that album you like, totally love, what’s the worst that could happen, it doesn’t work? You introduce them to the album? So then you move on.

I promise you will learn about yourself, and who knows, maybe what you liked/wanted all along isn’t what you really liked/wanted.

Much love,

PS. All links are totally worth clicking on, I swear.


  1. Great post! Definitely need to be more open to the possibilities :)

  2. love this! being passive, self-pitying or pathetic is NOT the way to meet eligible bachelors ha!!

  3. i passed this along to all my cynical single friends...well stated!

  4. So true! However, once you get rid of the judginess, dating becomes a lot of fun!

  5. you know it's easy to say than do especially since we are the products of our society. We don't want to deceive our entourage especially not our family by bringing around a guy that does not fit the picture. Of course, being too "judgy" is not the way to go either. We just must find the perfect compromise. And that is our journey to live.
    Thanks for such a great post, Jess ;)




© Blog with Benefits
Design by The Basic Page