Having not had my number asked of me by any female for dating purposes since high school, I was very taken back by this most rare occurrence as it happened in the singles ward of my church; beautiful brown eyes drawing my fullest of attentions. I could hardly remember my own number. After giving it, I seriously wondered if I had said the correct sequence, I really should be stronger but women are indeed a force to be reckoned with.
The next day I received a text from her asking if I could be her date to some function as her date had cancelled on her. I had already had plans with another friend to work out and make dinner; I didn’t want to seem too available. These are the games that dating conditions us to play, only here would an obviously awesome thing like someone calling you to spend time with you seem like something to behold with some degree of caution. Stupid games.
I declined, but extended an invitation to a dinner at a friend’s house later in the week. Playing the game quite well, she accepted both and all was seemingly fine.
The night of the dinner I became reacquainted with feelings that for years had become dormant: someone you hardly know is about to meet people you know well and form opinions about them almost immediately. I come from a most cultured body of folks I call friends; these certainly were not rugged folks that we would be eating with by any sense. Quite civil and well-tempered, I could not help but wonder what it all looked like to someone I was about to introduce for the first time.
I walked out to meet her, one of the first questions she asked me, "is this your house?" Certainly implying my ownership of it, I’m not going to lie, I seriously considered saying yes for a nano second. Reason prevailed; this young lady was all of 26 years old, works with non-profit groups and by all accounts, works like a boss traveling from this city to that city doing what women do quite well: networking.
We had already gotten into the what-do-you-do-thing and I’m usually okay speaking on my own behalf telling any inquiring party that I’m in school working for non-profit groups with a few side jobs here and there. It was here in this setting that the obvious realization of birds of a feather hit me quite hard listening to my friends girlfriend talk to her about her job at Ralphs. These two females talking it up coming from obviously diverse ways of life, it was a reintroduction into social class systems.
I guess I live in a bubble thinking that two people can just fall in love regardless of this or that. There is no denying that some folks are out there looking to be taken care of; I respect that because who doesn’t want that? My good friend later that night told me, "Yeah man, I saw her watch. That was a nice watch." So eloquently put. He is married and has an awesome job, as does his wife. There is nothing wrong with the finer things in life, but certainly things become distinct when you define yourself by these things. Dinner went well, the conversation was spirited. I walked her out and said good bye.
We texted back and forth, I absolutely abhor texting females you don’t know well. Phone calls are my forte; she seemed busy planning her sister’s wedding. I totally understand that, but for someone to deny sharing free food and just a portion of your costly time (cause it is costly) after seeming so very excited to have your number, is a bit confusing.
I really don’t trip on it too hard; she was and is high caliber, top shelf woman, who did much to stimulate my mind and body without ever touching me. Clever girl, have not seen her since, I’ll call her today. Probably send a text first though.
-Steven Nickens; Orange County, California.