DATING LOOK-A-LIKES

Photo by Jessica Milan

Once upon a time I dated a guy (dated is the nice term I will use for playing cat and mouse and partaking in immature drama)  who after weeks of bullshit, casually mentioned in an "I got you tone" during what was our terminal end-all of whatever it was that we were doing, that I was just like his ex who broke his heart. 

What he really meant to say was “I was attracted to you because you reminded me of her, but you did similar stuff she did to me that I didn’t like, but that’s why I was attracted to you, but you’re not her, wah wah wah.”

I later found out that “the ex” looked just like me: similar hair color, body build and even resemblance in our facial structures. Fishy.

Once upon another time, I dated another award winner who seemed to do the same thing as example number one. Somewhere along yellow brick road, I noticed his rolodex of women he dated, especially his ex he had a serious relationship with, all looked comparable and I fit right in.

People date look-a-likes all the time; sure, everyone has a “type” they prefer whether it’s tall, blond, brunette, athletic, etc. But some date people whose physical appearance is almost uncanny to an ex-partner.

Let’s look at Leonardo DiCaprio who dated this girl, this girl and now dates this girl. See my point? Not the point that I’m a jealous bitch, but my point that they all look-a-like.

Another notable person who dated look-a-likes is Johnny Carson who was married to a brunette woman named Joanne, and then later married a former model named Joanna. Then there's Chris Brown, you know, “look at me now,” who dated Princess RiRi and then this broad (tell me that isn’t Princess RiRi 2.0) and Hulk Hogan dated this lady who has a younger resemblance to his ex-wife (and uh, his daughter).

There has to be a reason example one and two date girls who look similar and it has nothing to do with having a “type;” the only thing I can conclude is what Dr. Bethany Marshall said in an ABC news segment called “Dating Doppelgangers: Men With a Specific Type.”

Marshall said people who date similar looks, may be trying to replace one woman with another and then another; however, doing this doesn’t allow you to grieve, separate, reform a new relationship, and attach to the woman you’re currently dating for who she is.

It makes perfect sense, at least it does in the theoretical la la land that is inside my brain where I have to find a reason for everything that happens in my life. 

I have a type I go for which entails certain qualities like artsy, smartsy types. While I may be attracted to dark haired, mysterious individuals, it doesn’t mean that’s all I date. Looking back, every guy I have dated looks nothing like the next because at the end of the day, the qualities I desire in a guy outweigh physical attributes.

So for whatever personal people do this – not just men, women do it too – I can only hope that I don’t ever have to add an example three to my blog.

Do you date look-a-likes?