2012 or bust
1/1/12
It's New Year’s Day: did you pledge that you’ll use
Listerine every day last night or what? Because it's 2012 and this is your year
my pretty's. It's going to be so, so good.
This year, please solemnly swear to:
Date people who are right for you. Enough of this "I'm
in a shitty relationship shit." End it! It's 2012. Start the year right!
Date the right guy/girl.
Floss your teeth every day. Seriously. Honestly. Come on.
It's bad. Besides, your medical bills won't be favorable if you keep it up.
Only have good sex, and if the sex isn't good, speak
up! Stop being miserable.
Take care of yourself: eat your veggies, eat your Wheaties, drink your
water, and exercise every now and then. Stop sabotaging your body, because when you get to be
Kirsty Alley's age, all those times you chased Miller High Life's with Taco
Bell and Flaming Hot Cheetos will catch up to you and you will just be on crash
diet after crash diet. Oh, and stop doing coke if you are, these aren't the 90's.
Be nice to humans and stop hating on people you don't even
know. That's playground activity.
Start listening to sexier music like this jam.
Get rid of bad friends. You know they're just going to flake
on you anyway in 2012.
Save your money. You will thank yourself later!
Enjoy life because life is no good if you are all work and
no play.
Happy New Year babies! Pass it on!
4 comments
This is great!
ReplyDeleteDear Jessica,
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
And thank you for always posting funny but true stories/life hacks! Love reading you!
Dear Colette,
ReplyDeleteThank YOU for reading! Happy New Year!! xox
You are ALWAYS welcome :)
ReplyDeletePS: There should be like a "Like" button for individual comments XD