Do you let your girlfriend/wife/mistress/fiance/old lady know too much? Do you have boundaries?

Red shirt guy says it's okay to tell his lady he wants to have sex with her friends, because it's brutal honesty and honestly, I think that brutal honesty is off putting. How many agree?

I would think that if a man tells a woman he wants to bang some of her friends, it would most likely cause problems; I'm sure the female would become hostile and who's to say what a hostile woman will do! Careful boys.

I personally don't care if a man notices an attractive woman because believe me, I notice attractive women and men, but I know not to drool on myself. To me, telling a woman what positions he wants to see her in isn't okay. Color me turned off.

Would you be okay if your girlfriend told you she wants to have sex with your best friend?

There should be boundaries. There should always be boundaries.

P.S. if you're in a serious relationship and so in love, and you're thinking about having sex with other women, men, whatever, maybe you should re-think your serious relationship.


  1. I think there's two levels to this:

    1. The level of "I would literally like to have sex with your friend". That's not okay unless you are both confirmed in an open relationship. If you have both committed to monogamy and you are seriously wanting to have sex with someone else and the only thing stopping you is that commitment, then really you have deeper issues and should probably look into how much you really want that relationship.

    The second level is "I find your friend attractive." This is different than "I am attracted to your friend" which falls more into category 1. Depending on your comfort with your SO and openness, this may be okay. Some don't find anything wrong with expressing that other people are good looking, as they usually take care to ensure their partner understands that they are their #1 and they have no desire to be with anyone else.

    It's a slippery slope though and by no means should this guy just assume every girl will take it as "honesty", but rather "ignorant, unnecessary comments".

  2. I just know that if my boyfriend were to tell me that he wanted to have sex with my friend, I would be seriously concerned. I would worry that he isn't really serious about the relationship, and it would create feelings of jealousy regarding the friend. I would never even dream of having sex with his friends, anyway, and I can't image that he would either. Isn't that kind of the point of having a committed relationship, making the decision that you don't want to be with anyone else?

  3. I agree wholeheartedly with Tegan on this one. I have no problem with my girlfriend saying she finds my friends attractive or joking around saying 'she would' but thats a whole different story!

    Anyone that can say they want to sleep with/have feelings for your friends and are deadly serious about it...need to get the hell out of your life. Just sayin.

  4. Yes, I agree. Joking or just commenting on someones looks is very different than actually building feelings and expressing them. Tell your partner that when you're in a committed relationship definitely concludes there are internal issues!




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