Sunday, September 4, 2011

A public service announcement to me and you




I just turned 24 and never in a million birthdays did I think this was the age I would have one of those cliché, light-bulb-turning-on moments with a gospel choir rejoicing in the background while clapping their hands as doves fly from cages into a bright white escape.

Being in the twenty-something age range is weird. It's full of over-dramatic anxiety attacks, wondering if you’re working toward the right career, hoping you can pay your bills, figuring yourself out, trying not to catch STD's, and last but not least, a usually not-so-favorable dating record (me, me, me).

Admittedly, I have a history of dating gentlemen who reel me in like a white van with candy but can never seem to admit they don't really want to "be" with anyone. In no way does this stop them from being all up in my business acting as if it were some modern Shakespearian love story (minus suicides) wanting the whole sha-bang (all that good stuff but without the title), then disappearing (and often reappearing) only to confuse the hell out of me.

I used to classify them as "assholes who led me on," but now, I’m comfortable saying they were guys who "weren’t interested in me enough to be with me or weren’t at the right place in their lives to compliment what I needed, let alone anyone else for that matter." At least I wouldn’t wish it upon another girl friend.

You’d think I could figure it out at the time, the signs were all there hence them basically vaporizing into thin air. He-lloooooo Jessica. But I didn’t. I'm human.

I forgot about the things I'd stay privy to when it came to someone I’d allow into my life. I had little birds on my shoulders saying things like "no one is perfect” and “you have to give people a chance, even the ones you wouldn’t normally go for, otherwise you will end up alone (scary music)."

This led me to date/be entranced by guys who didn’t fulfill me in certain areas, didn’t allow me to by myself, weren’t on the same page of life as me, or were a little too Up in Smoke, if you know what I mean.

It was what it was. My young self with another young self. I can’t beat myself up over it. Although I’d like to go back in time, drag myself by my long hair and slap the living shit out of me.

Enough about me.

So this is a public service announcement to all you fine young thangs, me included, because I realized on or around my 24th birthday, that life isn’t about being in situations that leave you unhappy or frustrated. Especially so young.

If you want someone who is spontaneous, motivated and intellectual--whatever it is--then be with someone who is. It won't work in the long or short run if you try otherwise. Trust me.

You know yourself better than anyone. Respect yourself. It’s a matter of the heart.

It's kind of crazy waking up one day and realizing your big adult life is beginning, and knowing where you are is no longer where you used to be. But it just happens like that. Onward.

Get on with your bad selves and listen to this smooth jam.





7 comments :

  1. <3 from this ol' sad bastard music-lover over here...

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  2. It's seems like 24 is that age where people start to realise it really is about the rest of your life. Scary but true. So many people i know are going through this right now, myself included.

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  3. Yes, it seems like this is the golden age!

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  4. wait... what happened to me... I am 26 and still f*cking up BIG time! Don't worry about me guys, save yourselves... today is the beginning of the rest of YOUR life, for me it is the beginning of more confusion and too big decisions that when faced I just have a nap. Hope your birthday was rad. Jx

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  5. It's the finding someone who is that is the challenge.

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