Snooki Jersey Shore

"If she got a basket on her bicycle, she's too young for you man."
"If she has parental controls on her TV in her bedroom, she's too young for you bro."

"If she only owns Snow White on DVD, she's too young for you man."

"If her Keds still light up, she's too young for you bro."

"If she still plays lazor tag, she's too young for you bro."

An Italian sausage isn't an Italian sausage.

If your name is Brittany and you're an American girl from Florida, you might want to change your name. And get tested.
If I get drunk enough in Italy, it won't hurt when I fall down repeatedly on concrete or fall down stairs. I will also wake up the next day thanking a higher authority that I "didn't fall last night."

To be a real Italian lady, you have to drink wine while cookin' dinner.

Strawberries and raspberries can be the same thing, almost.

Yellow jeans and blue tee's are so in.

Da Vinci (otherwise known as Michelangelo) painted the ceiling of the Vatican (which doubles as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel).
If I fight with my ex in a club one night, who goes by the name pimp-daddy-mac, I can get drunk the next night and make up, but only if there are white iridescent shades involved. Because only am I truly sorry for anything I do while drunk when wearing these.

A guy who tells me I am the most awesomist chick he's ever met after a night in a janky club, is a total keeper.
Getting fucked in the ass with a spiked bat is better than cuddling with your ex.


  1. I have yet to watch a full clip of the new season.

  2. Hahaha, these had me cracking up!!! So funny.

  3. It's so funny because this all happened in one episode! Only on "Jersey Shore"! lol

  4. I don't watch Jersey Shore but from this post, i think i would start watchin now coz these sound pretty interesting!

  5. Wow, some real good 'take home' lessons from that show then... Will have to check it out.

  6. I have no clue why I love this show so much but after reading this I think it is good that I do.

  7. I really liked the article, and the very cool blog

  8. I love this show, without irony. I tend to wait until the whole season is over before marathon-ing all the episodes but this entry has me curious lol.

  9. Really great article with very interesting information. You might want to follow up to this topic!?! 2012




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