You know that
So hey, open your eyes and stop dating the guy who's probably a jerk if:
1. He tells you you could stand to lose a few pounds. Because he is clearly Mario Lopez and he clearly has room to talk as he orders a triple bacon cheeseburger with three sides of ranch. Extra fries. And extra ranch for those fries.
2. He doesn't bring you around friends, family, co-workers, public crowds, or daylight.
3. He asks which of your friends you would have a threesome with, not so coyly implying he is the third in this alleged threesome.
4. Makes you pay for dinner because he "forgot his wallet." But he didn't forget his wallet when he bought tickets to see his favorite band yesterday.
5. Calls you dude or bro and says he is just so used to calling his dudes or bros "dude" or "bro," he forgets you aren't one of his dudes or bros.
6. Gets off during sex but doesn't return the favor because he thought the 15 seconds of stimulation he gave you was enough.
7. Publicly name calls/talks shit/and posts immature comments about his ex on Facebook because they aren't friends anymore online. You think it's funny? Just wait until you get deleted. It won't be so funny.
8. He ignores your texts or calls because he is "busy" for a whole day, or a week. Unless he is literally traveling to the moon, in a body cast or in jail, no one is too busy to kindly say they are busy and will get back to them later. Common courtesy.
9. He comments on your roommates boobs and how nice they are to you, his girlfriend. Ass.
10. Is 22, has two kids from two different girls, isn't with either one of them and doesn't pay child support let alone know their birthdays. In the words of Charlie Sheen, who is probably his hero, winning.