How to deal with rejection

So you met some girl or guy at a bar, on the bus or at a friends quinceanera, whatever, and things didn't turn out in your favor. Or the person you were dating dumped you. Ouch. Rejection is not exactly a feel-good-past-time.

Speaking as someone who has been rejected (neck roll, eye rolls) and done the rejecting (snaps fingers), I know both sides of the story.

I know what it feels like to have your stomach drop when someone utters the daunting words you fear and loath, even if you do see it coming, as well as the feeling of having to let someone down, and hope they don't think you're the worst person to ever walk this earth.

I know you want to publicly berate a person over a 140 character status update, text all your friends that a certain someone has STDs and whine about how you will die a lonely cat lady, but fight the urge, my friends, because I have news for you: sometimes usually, rejection is a good thing.

Yes, it's an ego blow. Yes, it makes you feel like there's something wrong with you, yes, it makes you second guess everything you say or do, but, when it comes down to it, it's a momentary glitch in life that doesn't define you.

If you're getting bent up over the fact that you approached a hot guy/girl at a bar and he said no to hanging out, keep in mind it was a stranger. You knew the person for a few seconds. Maybe she was an ex-con with a raging drug addiction or the guy was a pathological liar. You are most likely better off.

If you got rejected because the other person is dating someone, married or a priest, you didn't get rejected. Hello! But, if you were having an affair or some unlawful and un-churchly encounters with one of the three, and you got rejected, well, yeah, that's rejection. So take that as a lesson: you shouldn't have been doing it anyway.

Maybe you got dumped by your girl/boyfriend because they don't love/like you anymore, or don't love you as much as you love them. It's not you, it's them, and guess what? They saved you from a world of hurt down the road when it would have sucked even more to get dumped after say, having kids! And guess what else? Earth is pretty populated with extremely good looking people, duhhh. So cry about it for a minute, eat an ice cream sandwich, and, if you have to, watch some really good/bad reality TV, then move along.

Sometimes you get rejected and it has nothing to do with you as a person, it’s totally the other party. Maybe you're both at different places in life or maybe you're just not the "one." What can you do? I'll tell you, take it all in, understand why it happened and that this is a sign you should be with someone else, accept it, and move on.

So next time you're about to jump to the conclusion that the person is a complete worthless jerk, simmer down girlfriend! You’re only hurting yourself.

Oh, and get off your Facebook, people. You're annoying all your friends with petty status updates about how "he aint no man of yours," or "women are all bitches." Thems fightin’ words, and not the good kind.


  1. Jessica, your blog is awesome!! I love what you have to say and everything you write is just really "chill."

  2. Hi Jessica,
    I really love your blog, the way you express yourself :) And about rejection you are totally right! I hate when people pass their time renting on facebook about that boy/girl who rejected them and la-di-da-da. It's so pointless. People need to learn how to move on!

  3. beautiful picture :)




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