So you met a girl. This girl is the cat’s meow: she’s a total babe, she’s really cool and possibly someone you see yourself with.

Cut to a few conversations of small talk later and you’re on a date with her. In your mind, it was a really good time. So you call her a few days later, or five minutes after leaving her—whatever—to initiate something in the future: voicemail.

Days pass and there’s no return phone call; not a text back saying she’s busy but will call; not an email, a friend request on Facebook, a post card, a message in a bottle: nothing. I know. What the hell?

Guess what. It’s not her, it was you. What most likely happened was this: You freaked her out because you called her five minutes after she got out of your car or you didn’t connect to her emotionally. It was most likely the latter because if she was into you, you best believe that she would so answer that phone call.

An article by David Wygant discussing your favorite question “why won’t she call me back?” said women need distinction when it comes to dating. Duh! Welcome to 2011.

We need you, yes you varsity athlete and president of your fraternity, to stand out from the other guys we encounter on a daily basis.

What makes you different from the homeless guy, the freak poking us on Facebook or the regular Joe in a coffee shop? If you aren’t connecting with us on a different level, you are in the homeless guy, freak poking on Facebook, regular Joe in coffee shop category.

“She needs to know something that makes her feel “connected” to you,” said Wygant. “That you shared something with her – a moment, a laugh, an experience.”

This doesn't necessarily mean you have to disclose your criminal record, this means connect with her. I repeat, connect with her.

Men and women are beyond different. Men are visual. Women are not. Men connect through activities. Women connect by storytelling, words and emotions. It’s a fact. If you want to get somewhere with someone, you must know this and you must meet halfway.

So if you like a girl, you better get your act together before she is long gone boy. If you’re talking about yourself and not showing interest in her, what she does and who she is as a person, you may as well be dating yourself because believe me, she is checked out or at least checking out the waiter.

Oh, and this doesn’t just happen on first dates, it happens over time as well.

Cut the “my favorite hobby is putting ships in bottles” bullshit, self-disclose, take note of things she tells you, ask her questions, and be fully engaged.

I am just letting you know that if you don’t learn how to connect emotionally with women, you are screwed and will live a life constantly wondering why it didn’t work with that girl you thought the world of.


  1. jessica druck you hit it on the head

  2. this is why i broke up with my last bf b/c he just wasn't ever "there." you have to keep girls interested by being interested. something i think many guys dont understand.

  3. What do you mean "Connect"?? I think I'm "connected" to my sweatheart but then she says it's not there. WTF do women mean by CONNECT???

  4. read the article that i linked... maybe that will help you.

  5. i kind of agree with this even thought i am a guy. my ex used to always say i never asked her anything about her like how her day was, how important things went for her, and other things. at the time i thought she was just being irrational but looking back i realized i didn't do those things which cost the relationship. being a little older now, i definitely am more in tune and have learned that if you don't show interest, you lose interest. well written.

  6. I know way too many guys that only talk about themselves and if they find something remotely in common with you they'll cut you off and start going off on a tangent about why and how much in common they have with you for this one thing that you both like, except he doesn't even know why because he didn't really actually take the time to ask you why or to size you up - oh but we have. we sized you up just fine.

    reason why I love my boyfriend so much, because he has always been interested in my life and how I feel.

  7. Wendy!! Yes, I can't tell you how well you paraphrased many guys I have dealt with in the past (and probably future) as well as many guys my friends have dealt with.

    It's funny how a guy can be so "in like" with a girl who he "cuts off" in conversation and carries on about himself and how it's so great you both love that one thing. Yet, he doesn't know a damn thing about her.

  8. I am sick of girls who only talk about themselves. It goes both ways. Greatest line in a rock song ever "if that chick don't wanna know forget her."

  9. cool blog..haha
    peace and love

  10. to anonymous/thin lizzy: chicks DO want to know, but if the dude isn't wanting to know her also, she will easily forget him. And I think that song is about something else...

    And yes, it does go both ways.

  11. Nice you can recognize a band by one of their lines...and the song is about "the boys" and not worrying about anything else so I thought the line was justified in my comment. If a girl has no interest then the guy should just move on...too much time is spent trying to please them.

  12. Truth lies at the bottom of a well.




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