Friday, April 22, 2011

How to get laid in the 1950s

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This is the story of a guy, probably a lawyer or some executive big wig, who is trying to get this girl in his building.

He is probably the guy who has swag; all the ladies love him and he smells like fictional romance novels and has striking good looks.

Meet his victim: a girl who of course wants him. I get the sense she is married and horny because her husband is seeing his nurse so she wants spiteful revenge.

I also believe this guy uses this same scenario on a weekly, if not daily basis to get chicks:

In the top right picture, notice her seductive stance. Women do this to gear men’s attention to their chest. No it’s not an accident. It’s not comfortable to stand like that and notice where his eyes are.

Clearly, he knows she wants him and he won't have to work too hard hence her standing like that (which she won’t admit directly because women, as we know, are indirect).

He mumbles something about screwing up and saying she probably hates him after yesterday--whatever that may mean--so he is doing the typical blame game by calling himself a heel (which I had to look up because I know he wasn't calling himself a shoe).

He starts saying he didn't mean to get a kick out of Chalcis deal. Whatever the deal may be—drugs, human trafficking, who knows—then he plays the sorry sap card by adding, "whoa is me, I am basically an asshole and everything I do should be frowned upon, feel sorry for me, I am not really like this, blah, blah, blah."

He turns the tables. He tells her now that he met her, he won't go on with his life without her. Because I’m sure they’ve known each other longer than 24 hours and have had life changing conversations.

"I want to be able to look at you just once and not feel dirty," he said.

Liar.

But nice move. She now thinks you really care about her.

He tells her he has never fallen in love like "this" before.

He admits he asked another girl to marry him but she couldn't wait but he's glad she couldn't (in which he got rid of her) so he could marry this chick.

Wait a second. So, he is currently with another girl planning a wedding? Or, huh? What the all things red flag?

But, it doesn’t matter because little does he know, she is a total rabbit boiling bitch for sure.

“But suppose I was bad at waiting too?” she adds.

Insert evil laughter in her head.

They proceed to go have wild sex in the mail room I'm sure, and then she gets crazy wedding planner on his ass making him dump her.

He tells the switchboard girl the exact same story the next day.

The end.

4 comments :

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  2. Jessica! Someone is paying attention in AMST are we?? Haha...

    -K

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  4. Sounds like an episode of "Mad Men".

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