Creepy photo brought to you by Charlie Sheen

"Some guy told me I was so beautiful that it made him want to be a serial rapist."


There is a word women use too causally to describe a lot of male behavior: the word is creepy.

It’s a term that’s abused and used frivolously in the least proper ways.

Wearing socks with sandals isn’t technically creepy; a guy who video tapes you while you sleep is creepy.

I'm guilty of saying it. I try really hard to make sure when I consider someone creepy, he's truly being a creep. You have to earn the title.

So what’s the difference between flat out creepy behavior and not?

Creepy behavior is answering a text with "who is this?" and receiving a picture of a shirtless guy who looks like “the situation” pointing to himself in the mirror and smiling. Don't answer that, unless he's your boyfriend. If there weren't such things as textually transmitted diseases before, there are now.

Creepy behavior is not receiving a text from an old friend or someone you met who YOU gave your number to. Don’t blame him, blame the Grey Goose you had last night.

It is a guy who completely interrupts your night out with friends while you’re in the midst of a conversation, lingers at your table even if no one is talking to him and later introduces himself to your other friends who arrive late as if he came with your friends: clinger alert.

It is not a guy who politely approaches you and your friends at a bar during an opportune moment (like when you aren’t in deep conversation about your personal life or manic depressive state you’ve been in lately and why are you talking about that in a bar anyway?). If you don’t want to be approached, go hang out at library.

It is approaching you and your friends and asking what your bra size is, if you like it from behind and if it hurt when you fell from heaven. And he’s serious.

It is not asking how you are, what you do and what your interests are.

It is making crude jokes about bananas, comparing them to "himself" and then asking for your number while in the produce section.

It is not striking up a conversation about fruit just because. People are friendly sometimes. Shocking, I know.

It is dropping by unexpectedly because you didn’t answer 14 of his phone calls.

It is not dropping by unexpectedly when he knows you're sick or being held hostage because you have disclosed the information in a nonchalant, non-direct invite sort of way.

It is when a stranger calls you out for not wanting to give a guy like him--homeless--a chance and basically drop your pants because he called you beautiful. In public. In the middle of 40 plus people.

It is not a stranger saying you’re attractive and carrying on his merry way. Take the compliment and say thank you. Don’t be a bitch.

It is mentioning a conversation you had with your brother on your brothers’ page who he’s not friends with and technically doesn't know of his existence because you haven't mentioned him before. That’s stalking.

It is not mentioning something he saw you post on Facebook (he’s not stalking you; you just publicly disclose where you “check in” every 30 minutes. Get over yourself).

If it's genuine, it's not creepy. At least until it involves someone on Megan’s Law.


  1. I dunno, if a guy ties a rape joke into a compliment I would be disgusted. That is not a good way to get my attention.

    I agree that people misuse the word creepy, but not a good way to start off the post, IMHO.

  2. girls think everything a dude does is weird... we can't do anything anymore

  3. i don't think the first line is raises a good point about your point of women misusing the word. that's creepy..but what you said about socks with sandals isn't.

  4. To creep, or not to creep...that's a great question!

    I probably use the word "creepy" in the wrong context more often than not, but I am usually referring to myself.

    I get caught staring at some lady's very beautiful hair, but she doesn't realize I am just trying to figure out how to replicate her highlights...creepy?

    I appoint myself honorary therapist to the crying girl in the bathroom at the club...creepy?

  5. Great post :) I like that you give a point for the guys who trying to be legitimate good people. There are too many bitches out there who spoil things.

  6. Ditto on the "Weird" jason! Wtf are we to do? Its like some weird coalition against guys to make them feel like they can't be themselves because everything is creepy or weird- even when its normal.

  7. Is it creepy if a client calls you on the phone and always starts the conversation about how nice you look. I'm on the phone and we have never met. I think it classifies as creepy.

  8. That's odd/different/creepy...tell him he always smells nice and see how he reacts.

  9. What about messaging a girl on facebook you think is cute because you dont have the guts to actually approach her? Chronic shyness.

  10. Great post, I definitely feel like being friendly as a guy tends to be labeled as "creepy" behavior. Asking how your day was or saying something positive just means I want to get in your pants obviously. Some girls flatter themselves too much :P.

  11. Oh such a fun post!! Found you at the Lady Bloggers. New follower now! (and agree with every point :).

  12. Oh To Be 12 Again...(Humor)

    A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
    Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.

    'I'd like to be twelve again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.

    On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Alton Towers theme park.

    What a day!
    He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

    Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.
    Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down..
    He then took her to a MC Donald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

    Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favorite sweets............M&M's.

    What a fabulous adventure!

    Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

    He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being twelve again?'

    Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

    'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

    The moral of the story:

    Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.


  13. Jessica, sometimes people are creepy even if they think they're genuine. Great blog post and engaging writing.

  14. I see it as creepy but mainly because I am from Cincinnati and seeing his shirt reminds me of many creepy high school boys I met there.

    Nice blog, btw. Found you on SheBlogs. My blog is - a movie review blog.

    Please take a look!


  15. Terrific post. I cannot wait to peruse your other ones now.

    I agree people over use creepy entirely too much. In fact whenever I think of the term I always imagine the 'Creeper' from that old Scooby Doo cartoon! And while I'm married (and have been happily for nearly 18 years) I have to think of my daughter now that she's almost 14 and, coincidentally named...Jessica! I think it's important to point out the creepy 'Creeper' signs to look for in future boyfriends and your post is a fun, light hearted yet surprisingly astute look at the subject.

    Oh, and that Charlie Sheen pic is so disturbing... Maybe it's the beer? on his groin or the weird painting behind him, I don't know, the jury is still out on that one!

    Again, terrific post.

    Avery Brown

  16. I rather enjoy saying disturbing things at random times so I'm sure I've been labeled creepy more than a few times. To compensate I'm completely commitment-phobic which tends to attract clingy, creepy women.




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