Tuesday, February 1, 2011

What's Modern Romance?

When technology trumps all, dating in the 21st century


What's Modern Romance?
photo by Matt Weiner

When I say the term "modern romance" it sounds like some innovative new way of loving each other, right? Innovative in an energy-efficient-car, Peter Frampton introducing that talk box guitar sound, sort of way; too bad it's not.

Too bad it’s what our society has become: a lazy and frightened generation that likes to hide behind text messages and online profiles making us lose our ability to really communicate.

I remember the days before text messaging when most guys called to talk or ask you to … well, I would have been 13, so that meant asking me to come over after school, watch MTV Beach House and sip on Capri Suns while his mom hovered and watched Oprah on her mini TV in the kitchen. Ah, young love.

Romance was lost somewhere between MySpace and iPhones. We live in an instant gratification society that has made us emotionally shallow at times.

With emailing, texting and social networking, we’re lucky to be able to keep in touch so easily but we’re also kind of at risk of losing touch with each other.

Our generation has become so interpersonal that we can’t even talk to each other during phone sex, we sext. See my point people? Is it that bad to communicate?
So what is romance anymore, liking someone's status update and sending them electronic flowers? Of course, sending sweet nothings using our wonderful technology is fun and convenient--I am not going to totally knock it--but it diminishes what’s really important: getting to know each other.

What do we really know about each other anymore, what we all like and are fans of on Facebook? We practically know everything about a person before dating them anyway thanks to social networks. What fun is that? What do you talk about when you go to dinner, how many sugar packets are on the table?

I find it so refreshing when I meet someone who isn’t into Facebook or Twitter. I know very few men (and by few, I can hardly count them on one hand) who value old fashioned ways and I totally commend them for it.

Texting and networking are crutches; we use them to conduct the perfect sentence to that certain someone but in reality, you don’t have a thesaurus and time to think up witty conundrums in real life when you’re with that person.

The bottom line is, if you really like someone, get offline and be with them. I’m not saying you have to go buy a box of chocolate covered strawberries (this goes both ways ladies) but "if you’re not willing to sound stupid, you don’t deserve to be in love."

5 comments :

  1. it's rare when people call... i prefer it...

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  2. Hmm...I can only recall two times when a guy actually called me. And only one of those times was to set up an initial date. But that didn't make him any more romantic or trustworthy than a tech-obsessed dude.

    Two years after we broke up, I found out (via Facebook!) that he had lied about his age for our entire relationship. Oh, so that's why he never let me meet his friends! He was afraid the secret would get out!

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  3. Amen sister. I feel like that 100% Did you read an earlier posting I had called "Why Facebook makes me cringe?" I touch on that topic.

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  4. i agree with you! but at the same time, i do like to text still... it's easy to do! but sometimes people can't even call you, that's annoying.

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  5. I completely agree with you on this. Sometimes I wish that social networking did not exist. I mean texting is convenient and all, but I would rather talk to someone in person.

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