I've been listening to you lot lately, and by a lot, I mean yesterday. I never thought I’d be writing this about you because I admit that I became jaded by comments from the greater good of the world about your talent and character which indubitably stripped any positive traits from your talent and character, but beside that, your song Runaway had me at first listen.
I may be at my whitest while singing, er uh, rapping, this song, but I can’t stop. Of course, the music video I directed in my head involves every—as you put it—douchebag and asshole I've dealt with together in a choir singing to me while toasting themselves for being such jerk-offs and scumbags. A couple of them, I won’t say who, are wearing tutus as well.
It’s like you’ve had some euphoric, hip hop resurrection and the gods of Def Jam have spoken to you with guiding light. You lost yourself for a hot second there; you were a self-absorbed, jerky, masochistic moron who loved to hear himself talk and cause a scene, but you’ve been revived.
This song makes up for everything. I don't care what you’ve done and what you’re going to do ten minutes from now; you can do whatever you want. You can interrupt the speech for whoever wins best actress at The Academy Awards in February and talk about why Beyonce should have won--even if she isn’t nominated--and then you can show up to Prince Williams's wedding drunk off your ass with a bottle of Hennessy in your hand only before objecting that it is you who should marry Kate Middleton. As long as you apologize by singing a song about how you're a douchebag while ballerinas dance around you, it will be totally and artistically acceptable.
I have never known another self-proclaimed savior of hip hop who can make such a mockery of himself in such a beautiful way and make me, dare I say it, appreciate him for it.
I try so hard to despise you but it doesn't work. You're, as you put it, a motherfuckin’ monster and you know it. Therefore, I give up on the war on hate against Kanye West. I don’t have to love you, but I'll put up with you.