Never trust a guy who

Never trust a guy who wears too much Axe. He clearly doesn't like to use a toothbrush or deodorant and doesn't shower after the gym. Oh, don't even get me started on bad breath, how can you not smell yourself? Everyone else can.

Don't trust a guy who thinks kissing isn't cheating. If you can get herpes doing something, it's cheating.

Don't trust someone who still keeps in close contact with his ex/exes. He's not just "checking up on them." He's thinking about them naked, sexting and poking them on Facebook (and probably real life).

Don't trust a guy who says he needs to figure out his life at the moment before he makes you his girlfriend, but keeps hanging out with you and then some. Just don't. Move on because you don't have time to waste. You're only wrinkle free until you hit 30 and then it's all down hill from there. You will be sipping wine spritzers in the back of a bar while all the older men hit on your sister, who is in college.

Don't trust a guy who never carries condoms because he thinks women should handle it, he hates wearing them, he's too broke to buy any, blah blah blah. Yes, it's the 21st century and everyone should "pitch in," but jeeze, if you're having sex, be prepared and be responsible.

Don't trust a guy who is afraid of camping: dirt, bugs, peeing in public, and not showering? Who are you?

Steer clear of the guy who sends his food or drinks back all the time. He will never be satisfied.

Don't even think about hitting on the hot guy who didn't open the door for you, let you sit down when there weren't empty seats on the train or pick up your book that fell when you're hands were full. He's probably an asshole and that's not all he won't do.

Don't trust a guy who orders a bunch of drinks on your dollar. I don't know what crazed fantasy world you're living in but hearing that there's an open tab is not an invitation for your belligerence.

Never trust a guy who tells you (his girlfriend) he got a girls number when he was out with his friends. Yeah, she's totally going to help him with his thesis statement. Cough, cough.

Don't trust a guy who says he ran into an ex and is going to have dinner with her just to catch up. Unless she's his babies momma and they're discussing child support, he's for sure not going for endless soup and salad.


  1. I got the "allergic to latex" excuse once... I need to hit my younger self in the face. I don't care if you're allergic to latex, there are alternatives.

  2. never trust a guy who takes up two parking spots in the lot for his ass-hole mobile.

  3. this had me nodding in agreement the whole way- great post!

  4. As I am somewhat of a male myself, I fully endorse these statements. (And grateful I have never been lame enough to make this list)

  5. My younger naive self fell subject to the 'I'm just trying to figure things out so I'm not ready to call you my girlfriend'.

    I would add, never trust a guy who asks your thoughts on sex before the first date has even started. Chances are, he's just trying to get laid.

  6. "If you can get herpes doing it, it's cheating" HA HA HA HA HA. The rest are funny too!

  7. Having contact with an ex is NOT bad. It depends a lot on how the relationship is. Why dont stay a friend to somebody you like? Does not mean you want to have sex with her anymore

  8. It's exhausting, reading all of this kind of stuff, stumbling around the internet. "Hate men who talk to their exes."

    But it's cool if you have tons of guy friends right? Unequal rights and all that.

  9. Um, a guy friend isn't necessarily an ex.

  10. Why is it such an imperative that guy carry condoms? It makes more sense for girls to since they typically have purses. Condoms carried in pockets/wallets for more than a few days have a significant chance of being damaged. For that reason, I keep them only at home. If I'm out and need one, and they girl doesn't have one, I'll just go to the store like a normal human being.

    Also, why is a guy who doesn't give up his seat to you automatically an asshole? Would you do they same for him?

    Also, sweeping statements about what a guy is going to do with his ex are asinine. Way to inspire paranoia!

    But yeah, someone who takes advantage of someone who is buying drinks for them is an asshole. Good thing girls never, ever do that to guys.

  11. A satirical article on why you shouldn't trust guys like these

  12. Wow....same with a 40 male virgin

  13. Why would you want to sleep with someone without a condom? Especially if you aren't dating them (but even then you should still use them, just because your dating someone doesn't mean you can't get/get your partener pregnant) also if you are going to or might have oral sex some flavored ones would be a good idea as they will taste better and stop STDs (personally if I ever had a one night stand I wouldn't want oral because I wouldn't want to catch anything when I reciprocate and go down on her)

    To all the guys reading this if SHE decides to go down on you (her body her choice) don't try and encorage her to go deeper (I didn't no guys did this but apparently a lot of guys do) she knows what is comfortable for her so respect that regardless of if you are dating or not.
    No woman wants to be hurt, degraded or treated like a piece of meat she is a person treat her like one and you can both enjoy and get pleasure from sex together.




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