Saturday, August 14, 2010

Advice on advice

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Photograph by Devon J

Q: I know some girls really like me, but I seem to miss the chance to close the deal. What's the way to overcome this? I really want to kiss, close and get the number. I know I keep missing the moment. How do I know when the moment is there? (I think I just go Wussy and get scared when I get to that stage.)

A: What are you waiting for, Kwanza? Get over yourself and just kiss her or ask for her number. What's the worst that can happen? She pulls back or gives you the number to Netflix saying it's her business line? Move on and hit on her friend--just kidding, but not if she's hot--and don't forget that she totally want's it; don't believe the good girl image, it's a hoax. Just refrain from kissing her while she's chewing her dinner, talk about inopportune.

Q: I've found myself in situations when things get quiet and I can't find what to talk about on a date. What are some topics that fascinate women? Any help on what to talk about on a date would be greatly appreciate.

A: It's only getting quiet because you're having a monologue in your own head on what to say. Step out of your head and just ask questions. What drew you to this person to begin with? She's not going to think you're weird if you ask her what her interests are or where she grew up. She said yes to the date right? However, she will think you're weird if you talk about how much you hate the President, your ex's, how amazing your talents are and how much you love your so cool and so expensive car.

Q: I’m not sure about the whole Cocky & Funny thing -- how do I be Cocky yet not come across as an asshole? And I've really never been the funny type of guy; I just don't know how without saying or doing something that might make me look like a wussy. Can you help a bro out please?

A: Listen, bro. First of all, why do you want to be a jerk? Women hate assholes who love stroking their own ego. Yes, it may seem like we want the guy who let the old lady cross the street by herself and has a criminal record, but it's not true. Cut the egotistical crap and for the love of whatever god you believe in, don't try to be funny if you aren't. Funny is natural, not on a Popsicle stick.

2 comments :

  1. 3rd response is definitely my favourite in this one :)

    Thanks for the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAAH Um netflix is a good idea btw! LOL Love this one!!

    ReplyDelete

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