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Remember when going green was totally cool? Everyone was all Al Gore-y by watching an Inconvenient Truth, trying to save polar bears and wearing organic T-shirts that were probably edible. Then something happened making everyone forget that paper is recyclable. I think it was the iPhone; there's no app for decomposing.

Recycling is back, kind of like the McRib. In 2007, everyone was crazed over the $34 bags labeled: "I'm not a plastic bag” which were made famous by earth-y celebrities, an effervescent need to stand out from the community of polluters and possibly a desire for world peace, something like that.

Recycle enthusiasts--trend setters--were all about using these at the grocery stores because it was the new thing. Now that the hype is gone on the late product, society's back to paper or plastic (at least there are bans on plastic now in certain cities).

Madonna and Julia Roberts were pro solar panels on their multi-million dollar homes as well as carrying their silver canteens. What non-recycling, law abiding, US Weekly reading citizen didn’t want to mirror these super awesome fads that would benefit our planet?

Stores like Kitson started getting in on the movement because I’m sure one of the Kardashians or Nicole Richie were wearing pants made from a newly discovered plant that won't break down after washing but is also good for the environment.

What's better than fashion you can wear, plant in your garden, smoke and buy at an overly priced retail cost?

When I read that Nike made outfits for the FIFA World Cup that are recycled from old bottles (Brazil and the U.S. team are made solely from bottles), I immediately had a Paris Hilton, green-bin flash back (but good for Nike and soccer).

A jersey made of bottles: Why? Why not? I don't know how recycling works exactly or how a shirt can be made from a Coke bottle, but I’m assuming if clothing is made of this, pretty soon pants will made of dirt and shoes will be made of smiles and rainbows. It won't make sense, but it will be eco-friendly, so who cares? Just heighten the price to $75, put Alexander Wang's name on it, sell it at Fred Segal and you have yourself a profitable item only affordable to upper class people who don’t know a thing about polar ice caps other than the charity event they’re at is serving a great salmon dish.

I was aghast when I read that the Nike jerseys are retailing at $70. If recycling needs to be pushed, why is it being pushed at such high retail prices? What about the common folk? I'm sure it's because Nike's name is on the jersey as well as the fact that it's easier to recycle a material into the same material. A jersey isn't exactly a bottle; however, Walmart is selling plastic bottle shirts for somewhere around $7. Get on that Walmart couture. Be green, or plastic in this case.

Granted, recycling in parts of the United States--and world--is minimal. Living in places like San Francisco is simple; there are three bins everywhere: compost, plastic and paper and some even have pictures. I know, eco-gasm.

Going green means a lot these days: it means wearing green, smoking green, carrying cool canteens, wearing clothing made of bottles, you name it. Let's just hope these trendy trends are getting the message across and people aren't still throwing paper product's in trashcans with half eaten burritos and light bulbs.

Never trust a girl who

Photograph taken by Daniel Gil Rodrigo

She programs her phone number as your number one speed dial after a week of dating. You'll soon find she also changed the ringtone and took a risque picture of herself so when she calls, you're reminded of how psychotic she truly is.

You find weird chat rooms left open on her computer while checking your email. First of all, who uses chatrooms anymore? It's not 1998 when chatting on AOL was more fun than actually hanging out with your friends. Second of all, no one--I mean no one--should be discussing creepy fetishes with strangers anymore on a chat board. It's called Chatroulette people, at least there you can show your face.

Her business cards not only contain her phone number, email and website, but also the prices for her "services."

She gets your dog a pink rhinestone encrusted collar as well as matching sweaters and T-shirts. Your dog is male and also a 70 pound Labrador who now hates its life. This won't stop here: when winter sets in, your dog will be sporting scarves, Santa Clause hats and probably boots because it's paws might get cold.There's one thing you don't mess with and that's man's best friend.

She replaces all your food with non-fat, low-fat, vegan and organic (skip this one if you want her to). She's either insinuating that you need a gym pass or she's making you over into the man she wants you to be. Either reasons aren't good. If you like your Hostess cupcakes, then damn it, eat them and find yourself a woman who loves you for you as well as Twinkies.

She looks in the mirror and asks "does this look like a canker sore or herpes? I'm not sure, it could be one or the other."

All of her pictures on Facebook, her phone and in her apartment are her with other girls, on other girls and kissing other girls. She likes girls. She just wants a man around to rub her neck and kill spiders.

She gets smashed every time you hang out. We're talking the kind of smashed involving forgetting your name, her name, hooking up with strangers and finishing the night over the toilet. She's bad news and will probably drink all of your parents wine if you bring her home.
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Photograph by Anna Wergelius

Q: My guy kisses me good-bye, but otherwise, he doesn't like to kiss unless we're going to have sex. We have great chemistry, and the kissing, when it happens, is amazing. So why doesn’t he like to, and how can I get him to do it more?

A: Unfortunately, this is a no-win situation for you. Sorry sista. You either have bad breath, you're a terrible kisser or he doesn't like you enough to commence any physical activity any time other than when you're about to have sex. Therefore, try keeping Crest Wisp's on hand or get a new guy who enjoys a little tonsil hockey.

Q: What is your advice on calling after having spent the night with a woman? Is it a chivalrous or wussy thing to do? Should it always be a call or is e-mail OK? What should the tone be?

A: First of all, spending the night with a woman isn't a business meeting; therefore, refrain from e-mailing, faxing, sending a telegraph or anything of the sort. If things went well and you actually liked her, get over yourself and say something. It's not a marriage proposal and it doesn't have to be a love poem, just ask her out you dunce; however, if you paid for the evening, there is no need to touch base the next day, I'm sure she knows she was good.

Q: Guys often approach me at bars, and sometimes we really hit it off. But they almost never ask for my number, and the ones who do are never the ones I want to ask for it. What's my problem?

A: Your problem is that you're trying to meet guys in bars. Meeting guys in bars is like trying to meet someone off MySpace and hoping they don't have crabs; it's not ideal or safe. Of course, saying every guy in a bar is sleazy is a complete generalization because you have to remember that you frequent bars and aren't sleazy (well, after reading this question, arrows point to yes). If you're looking for everlasting love, try a library or somewhere that isn't darkly lit smelling like Whiskey and cigarettes.

Guys may also refrain from getting your number because you're insinuating that you aren't going to follow them to their white van at the end of the night. You may also be so incredibly boring that you're just not worth the effort of inputting a new number into their super awesome state of the art cell phone; even for pity's sake. White vans are over-rated anyway, so stop anticipating your dream man at the local pub on $2 beer night.

Q: I met a guy through an online dating site and we've been dating exclusively for 7 months, but his profile is still posted as an active record on the site. I'm mystified. How do I handle this?

A: You have been dating "exclusively" for 7 months but his profile is still active? Right. He's exclusively talking to you all right, as well as exclusively checking out spring break photos of other hopefuls. If you're so set on dating this mystifying Internet marvel, you're going to have to come to terms with the fact that he probably has the desire to speak with other women. Re-activate your account and look for someone new or go outside and meet someone in real life who only knows how to attain active criminal records as opposed to active dating site records.
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Photograph by Eylul Aslan
Don't lie; whether you're a man, woman, cat or dog, you love the chase. There's something about a person that you know nothing about that makes you want to know more.

So what is it about the chase that is so enthralling to many? Some say it's because men are natural born hunters, others say it's because it's light and carefree; a lack of responsibility to just one person, if you will.

Maybe you don't know what it is exactly. Maybe you chase for reasons that are mildly frowned upon like if they're forbidden (in a relationship) or seemingly impossible to get and getting is the prize.

Other reasons why people are all about it? Chasing a person is fun. You know nothing about them like whether or not they're crazy, an ex-con, addicted to sniffing glue or into weird fetishes. At this point, they’re perfect in your eyes and can do no wrong except mismatch socks, but you'd probably still find that cute.

That giddy feeling is exciting when your phone lights up unexpectedly (regardless of the fact that it's usually your mom); the one time it's that person, you just about melt because to you, they bit the bait. Alas, victory.

However, chasing can be irritating. Being inaccessible, mysterious and intriguing, it's endearing and by endearing, I mean it can literally drive you insane. Especially when someone doesn't have a Facebook. Talk about stalk block.

Seemingly, the person is unreal and you're dying to know more as if your childhood celebrity crush on one of the Hansen brothers is coming to life, minus the Mmmbop. Making it difficult to get to know the real Hansen brothers, there were only so many J-14 Magazines revealing important information like their favorite ice cream flavors (maybe that's why my childhood celebrity crushes lasted so long and my real crushes are so short lived).

Yes, the adult thing to do is to commence normal courtship, but where's the fun in that? Who wants everything at once? Showing too much interest in the beginning leads to thoughts of neediness anyway. Who really want's to act their age and not play stupid mind games with each other? Get real. It's like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. Let's just hope that when you catch it, it's not Chicken of the Sea.

Regardless, whether you want to admit it or not, you love the chase as well as being chased. It's thrilling. You know you want it and until you get it, you aren't going to stop. At least until you find out their weird fetishes on Facebook.
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Here’s some advice retracted from Cosmopolitan. You may have the same statements or questions, don’t worry Dr. Jessica is here to help.

Q: “I found some e-mails my boyfriend wrote to girls who'd posted ads on Craigslist wanting to hook up. I confronted him, and he said he was just playing. Why did he really do it?”

A: First of all, I hope you're not still with him; Craigslist is the venereal disease of the World Wide Web. Second of all, he did it because he wants to have sex with other women. This site is for selling used couches that your college roommates spilled beer all over and for registered sex offenders to make friends and find lovers with weird fetishes. Yep, your boyfriend is on there. You might want to reconsider the title "boyfriend."

Q: “I've been hanging out with this guy for a month or so, and everything is great...but I can't stop thinking about him. I feel like I'm obsessing. How can I get this guy off my mind all the time?”

A: What’s your definition of obsessing exactly? Is it: refreshing his Facebook page every five minutes, knowing all his ex girlfriends by first, middle and last name, having a special ring tone for him and calling everyone by his name? If that’s you, go to Netflix, order Fatal Attraction and take meticulous notes. Get off his Facebook, go outside, and hang out with your friends for a little bit if you're that distraught over it. Otherwise, stop pushing away a good thing and embrace his face in your thoughts. Why wouldn't you want to think about him anyway?

Q: “My new boyfriend is very experienced. I'm not jealous of all the girls he's been with, but I've always been really scared of getting an STD. And when I'm with him, I can't stop worrying about it, even though we practice safe sex. Will he mind if I ask him detailed questions about his past?”

A: No, not at all. In fact, wait until you're both naked and ready to have sex to ask him these things. Talk about a turn on. Make sure you get as much information as you can; you don't want to leave anything out. While you're at it, get a family health background as well: heart disease, cancer, etc. You want to rule out anything for your future children you already thought about and probably named in your head.

Q: “I have an on-again, off-again relationship with this guy. The main reason why it's been so rocky is because when we're on, he's seldom able to perform in bed, and it gets both of us so frustrated. However, when we just hook up during "off" times, he has no problems. I really think this is the only obstacle to our being together, so is there anything I can do to fix it?”

A: Did you read this after you typed it out? I don't think your "only obstacle" is bold enough. The guy clearly can't get it up for you in any way when you're committed. Hello red flag, it's time to move on. He wants to have the cow and milk it for cheese, ice cream, yogurt, you name it. He may also be better during your "off times" because he is learning new moves from other cows. Stop trying to tie someone down who doesn't want to be tied down. Think about it, sleep on it and get back to me.


Source: Cosmopolitan, May 2009

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