Wednesday, May 19, 2010

A negated love letter

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Photo source, unknown


Dear forever stuck in college,

Might I begin this not-so-love letter with apologizing for allowing my acts of being nice to double as flirtation; opps, my bad. For you, my dear, deserve the utmost respect--granted how much you made me cringe—for sticking around after relentless shut downs.

I knew it wasn't love at first sight when you hit on me too much upon first meeting. You were pretentious as well as cheesy and I surely didn't want to feel your bicep or know your body fat percentage.

We had little to nothing in common, you didn't even know a single Nirvana song that your roommate was playing on his guitar (now he is another love letter of another kind) and you said things I uttered in 8th grade thinking I would sound cooler like: "tyyyyyyte." Emphasis on the y sound for three seconds.

You had this way about you like the girl in Can't Hardly Wait who always wanted her yearbook signed; only you didn't want your yearbook signed, you were just kind of always there, appearing, popping up and texting too much about your day. I thought guys liked space? It was weird.

When you told me you majored in awesome in college, I wasn’t intrigued, a part of me believed you were serious and wondered if you put that on your resume. I then began to fear for your future.

It wasn’t romantic standing under the stars when you asked—begged—for a kiss. I wasn't playing hard to get or being a tease like you thought, I was fighting back puke in my mouth and thinking of a legitimate excuse to rid you.

It just would have never worked. You and I were no PB & J like you thought; we were more like cereal and Orange Juice.

I commend you for your perseverance and imagination after being continually shut down on several occasions. You showed great work ethic and for that, I wish you nothing but a lifetime of awesomeness and hope you find a chick as tyyyyte as you.

Sincerely,
Never being nice again for the sake of being nice



10 comments :

  1. I've written so many unsent letters over the year. Many.

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  2. Oh the unsent letter. I think all girls have a collection of them hidden in hard to find files on their computer and email accounts, and often times, hand-written ones hiding in the bottom of old drawers.

    I too have encountered the problems of guys misreading nice as 'I want you in my pants'. More often than not, the only way for them to get the hint is for you to be brutally honest.

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  3. I love the 'unsent letter'. I wish boys were not so fucking stupid. How annoying.

    Now Following
    -Olivia
    http://faddicted.blogspot.com

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  4. I've never written any unsent letters but I'm surprised that lots of girls do. This entry sparks me to write a few myself to well lots of people but they're never going to get it.

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  5. I love your blog for its expressive writing. I found your blog through The Essential Man blog.

    JD
    iplayfaves.blogspot.com

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  6. My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!

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  7. Great site. A lot of useful information here. I’m sending it to some friends!

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