Thursday, April 1, 2010

Different types of women

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Women: if only they were simpler right? Females are complicated and do things you will never understand like stalk your ex’s on Facebook, dissect most things you say over a text message and over think everything.

While you boys are nodding and thinking this is so true, don’t think you’re any better. You’re just as weird and difficult to figure out, hence the dissecting of text messages.

There are too many different types of women. It would be amazing if we could be narrowed down to just three categories--easy, medium and hard--but females are never going to be that simple.

However, there are types of girls you should be going for and then there are types you're probably going for.

First, there is Ms. Good Girl, otherwise known as the sweetheart. This is the girl you can bring home to mom and dad and not worry whether or not every asset of hers will be covered. She's mature, she passed High School and probably won't go Lisa Left Eye Lopez by burning down your house when you breakup. She can play with your nieces and nephews without slipping a few curse words and is trustworthy and refreshing.

Then there is the go getter: Ms. Independent. This girl has a knack for power and probably owns at least three business suits, four blackberries and likes to hit on men in bars because she doesn’t have time to wait for love to find her. She has no shame getting what she wants when it comes to dating but she also loves her job and personal space. She’s perfectly secure with herself and therefore often mutters that she doesn’t need men to make her happy (don't believe her, she's lying). While she may want to find a way to sue you for breaking her heart, she will instead buy a newer version of her blackberry. She's reasonable and not a bad choice.

Ms. Serial Teaser: this girl typically has over 800 friends on every social network and a high percentage of them are men, or women, depending on which way she swings. She never fully commit's to anyone, therefore she leaves many people hanging. Continually flirting with each guy, she gives false hope by sending the wrong message as she touches your arm, ask's about parents like she cares and smells like a bed of sex mixed with roses. It's just not right, right? Be wary of your own heart when going after this type. They are hard to tame and jealousy is very present with her fan club always around.

Ms. Easy Going, Ms. No pressure: She doesn't want to rush into things and like's to keep it cool. Aka: under wraps. Aka: you aren't the only one she's dating. Her relationship is always disclosed to the public, but she makes it seem like you’re together when you're together (ladies watch out for guys like this too). Other signs that point to this personality? Talk of previous boyfriends and how they still hang out (again, they aren't just friends), dream catchers and saying she has no last name (too much of a rolling soul). The last two are far fetched but just look out for them.

Ms. Party Girl: also known as sorority girl, life of the party or that girl. She is fun when you want to do keg stands, have themed nights where you're wearing cut up sheets and leaves and if you like to discuss various types of drinks called mind erasers. Just make sure you know where the nearest HIV testing center is. Party on.

Ms. Bad ass: this girl is so cool that she can tie knots with her tongue, she has tattoos in places unheard of and she knows more sexual positions than you. Good for her. If you can keep up, this chick is for you; however, if you aren’t comfortable being the puppet in her show and don’t have tattoos and piercings in places like your eyelids, inner ears and between your toes, I suggest moving on to less of a challenge. You will just end up soar and uncomfortable.

Ms. Credit card formerly known as Ms. Gold Digger. Symptoms include: an old man (often in a silk smoking jacket), a plethora of shopping bags, possible Botox beginning at the age of 25, leather skin from tanning and an infallible need to check herself out in windows. She has a case of Anna Nicole Smith and there is no prescription for it. Unless you want to cash out your 401k early because she spent your money on designer dog clothes, run. This girl isn't and never will be into you; she is into your wallet, trust me.

These are just a few types to look out for or look for; to each his own. Some people enjoy leather skin and an STD scare.

11 comments :

  1. HA! I thoroughly enjoyed this :)

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  2. Believe me, guys are just as bad, if not worse, for dissecting text messages and other communications. Some guy, somewhere, is as we speak perfecting a scientific analysis of the number of 'x's on the end of a text. Great post!

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  3. haha, this was hilarious! Excellent post.

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  4. soo funny! obsessed with your blog :)

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  5. So the questions is what category do you fall into?

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  6. I LOOOOVE YOUR BLOG!! It's genious!! I'm hooked!! hahha. Good post btw!


    N

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  7. Don't highlight the negatives in your characteristics, it's terribly depressing, and now I'll hear your voice (assuming you sounds like morgan freeman) echoing the cons in my head when an unsuspecting woman walks by.

    P.S.: Don't mind me, great post :)

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  8. ha nice post, i think i've dated all of these types except the gold digger (i have no money)...ps i dig the lightning bolt in your name

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  9. Love your blog:-) very interesting posts.
    I love this one. I must say, I'm the good girl (and a little bit of a serial teaser) but that's only because i'm mostly scared of commitment:-) hahahah
    Found you from 20SB btw, good work!
    xx cathy @ hellocathe2ine.blogspot.com

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  10. This was interesting and honest. I like your perspective!

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  11. Good day!
    Happy New Year!
    Health, luck and love!

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