Photo by: Jerry Matchett on

Do you sit with someone you deeply care about or hope becomes your soul mate while sipping red alcoholic beverages and nibbling on chocolaty desserts as a violinist strums romantic melodies from the back of a low lit cafe?

Or, are you at home watching a Mad Men marathon while sort of doing homework and probably eating a box of heart shaped candy your mom gave you out of pity?

If you are anything like the rest of society who watched their friends receive heart shaped doilies in their lockers and teddy bears with necklaces around their necks, you probably detest Valentine's Day (not using personal experience at all...cough cough); however, this commercial holiday you loathe should be praised you single lady you, because it's your night off.

February 14 is your one night off--if you chose to relax--because for 364 days a year, you partake in being careless, frivolous and possibly promiscuous (just wear protection). You also have a much better chance of receiving random acts of love as opposed to hoping it happens on one measly day.

Being single is fun unless you're that guy from 500 Days of Summer who can't start life until he finds the one. Talk to me about 22 years of summer then, or something like it.

Every day is an adventure when you're single. It's fun because you never know who you will meet, who you'll dance with, who will tell you great stories and who might change your life.

So celebrate this night. Consider it a paid holiday where you can eat that heart shaped candy which coincidentally makes your ass bigger (clearly, men didn’t make this holiday), watching TV, drinking alone or with friends, going to bed early, tapping into that guilty pleasure you call Jersey Shore, whatever.

Also revel in the knowledge that you're saving money while everyone else is crying about buying gifts for their significant others and having to think of creative ways to woo someone.

Be young and stop caring if there is a red balloon tied to your car antenna with an innocuous note someone wrote and stuck to it with gum. Guaranteed it's not from the person you want it to be from; it's probably from the guy you work with who could be your dad and looks too much like Billy Ray Cyrus.

Remember, you have the rest of your life to have a Valentine, which is a very long time.

If you’re still distraught over this, get mad at some lady named Esther Howland. She's the classy broad who began the Valentine card industry.


  1. But but... I want my ass to get bigger (I'm 100 lbs.)Jessica!

    The last relationship I was in, my ex hated Vday, so we didn't celebrate it. We did however, celebrate Sweetest Day, by going out to dinner and doing a photowalk (taking cute pictures of each other).

    Vday is just another excuse to spend money... if you're coupled, you shouldn't need a day to show your significant other how special they are to you. maybe because I was one of those dorks who didn't get (beep) on Valentine's during my puberty phase.

    bring on the chocolate though, nommers!

  2. Yeah...I was never big on holidays, single or not. Life's too short for hangups on bad holidays!

  3. Alcohol makes every holiday better. Especially Valentine's Day.

  4. I try to avoid it and just blow it off as a Hallmark holiday but I usually just go out to dinner...and wait for 6 hours to be seated.




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