Chick flicks are like drugs: they get you on some kind of high until you realize it's over and then it's back to reality. Ah yes, many of you say they hurt so good, seemingly so, but are they good for you?
Men, don't scroll through just yet, I know many of you get caught up in some chick flicks; masculinity is not lost. I have male friends who have confessed their sins to me and not all are bad, some are made very well like Terms of Endearment--come on, it's a classic.
Eric Alt of Maxim wrote an article called "Why ‘Chick Flicks’ Hate Women" and I couldn't help but read with a raised brow while nodding my head.
One of the many points Alt makes is any problem a woman has can be fixed with a simple shopping spree and makeover a la Mean Girls, Ms. Congeniality, The Princess Diaries, etc.
"Your husband/boyfriend/stalkee is being mean? Well, it's because you haven't done your hair in forever," Alt said.
Yes, spend your week's pay on new clothes, makeup as well as a hairstyle that is too difficult to re-create on your own because appearance is the reason your guy is mean to you. If it is, well, he's just not that into you. No pun intended.
Take for instance How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Yes, it's funny at times but the title isn't How to lose a guy in 10 days, but in actuality he really falls in love with you despite your crazy antics. A man will not fall in love with you after you put your tampons in his medicine cabinet and make a baby album for your unborn children.
She's All That is kind of like arm floaties, meaning it's what my lifeguard instructors used to tell me: a false sense of security. The nerdy girl who makes herself over after seeing this will most likely spend incalculable nights recounting the times varsity jock passed her in the hall as opposed to the fairytale homecoming king and queen affair that she thought would birth. Keep the glasses and Pulp Fiction hair cut and wait about four years when you grow into yourself and are full blown babe while varsity jock is full blown gas pumper.
Legally Blonde: Chihuahua sales rose in 2001 and women were all about stealing their non compatible lovers back after he broke up with them. Not only is this movie the worst 90 minutes of pink I have ever encountered, it pangs me thinking how many girls actually cried like that in public after they were dumped in the Olive Garden.
Now for the slow transition into the really serious stuff like The Notebook. Yes, this is a good movie in theory; however, some women will now only settle for a guy who will hang from ferris wheels, lay in streets while watching the lights change and row her into swan filled lakes. Yeah, I'd pay a pretty dollar to meet a real life Noah, except I know my reality and the closest thing to a swan filled lake is the murky man made fishing hole down the street.
Then there were two: Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. Sigh. You’ve Got Mail has the best intentions and I do have a soft spot for it. Unfortunately, chat room love is nonexistent unless you're paying for it and it rhymes with me-jarmony (which I don't support at this age). This movie didn’t make it okay to stop going out into the world by resorting to online romance. You aren't going to meet some guy who just happens to be the heir of a billionaire as well as the possible start up of something huge like Pinkberry. That guy is on Millionaire Matchmaker.
The list could keep going but I’ll stop with He's Just Not That Into You. Ginnifer Goodwin’s character is the girl every guy hates: the one who thinks you're in love with her if you lend her your pen and sit’s by the phone waiting in vain for him to call, yet she still gets the man. So while some women were taking copious notes, I wanted to vomit on my television. Since when do men fall for head cases like that?
These films are to be taken lightly and are in no way a self help guide book to life. Read the rest of Alt’s article at Maxim.com for a laugh.