It takes a strong person to retire bad habits like typing LiKe ThIs. It also takes a strong person to decide when your friends--adult friends--have not equally performed the same tasks and should be unfriended.

The word unfriend was chosen by The New Oxford American Dictionary as the word of the year for 2009. America, go figure; never a profound word.

To delete a friend via social networking is the literal meaning. No longer are you just screening phone calls and writing hate songs about people you detest, you're digitally cutting them out of your life. Ouch.

Too often do I sign onto Facebook and am subjected to heinous news feeds filled with status updates in all capital letters. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt thinking their Caps Lock key was stuck due to an unfortunate accident (maybe mittens, their dubious cat, was screwing around on the laptop).

I already get yelled at at work, by my parents and weirdos on the street; the last thing I need is to be yelled at on Facebook. Yes, Caps Lock means your yelling; if you're religiously using it, you should know this.

Besides dealing with verbal abuse, my IQ is continually dropping as uneducated friends (see, "how to lose friends by writing about them on blogs") feel the need to completely sabotage words: ie: like to lyke and something to sommin.

If you're scratching your head because you thought those were defined words, you have been smoking too much pot and watching Blues Clues. If you want to sound like a reputable human being at some point in your adult life, spell words with their birthed spelling or go join a prepubescent chat room on AOL about Taylor Lautner.

Not only is my IQ at stake but I am being exposed to filthy and tasteless pictures. I don't want to see pictures of you in lingerie nor do I need to see pictures of you peeing on the curb after six keg stands. I get it, you think you are hot and want the world to see you; however, sometimes more should be left to the imagination on account of the freshman 30 (we all really know the freshman 15 is: 15 plus 15 more).

Seeing you at your ultimate low--which to you, is the ultimate high-- is hysterical for some but is also scary. They say the biggest threats to society give us warning signs. Your verbalization on Twitter of how much you miss your boyfriend every time he's at work or school can be decoded as cries for help. Don't be a statistic.

Regardless of data, getting too political, lurking, stalking, having spastic reactions to Grey's Anatomy every week as well as claiming yourself the biggest Lakers fan in the world will get you unfriended. Besides, last time I checked, the biggest Lakers fan was over 6'8 and weighed 320 pounds, fat chance.

If your only scare of deleting these status update, profile editing, Farmville playing fanatics is because you may see them at Target one day, then you're just as guilty. You're just as guilty as following every Miley Cyrus fake Twitter account in hopes that one of them is really her.

It's easy to be unhappy and get prescribed med's from the doctor. I could do it today if I wanted to. It's a matter of incomparable role playing, tearing of the eyes, feeling like the world is caving in on me and making sure the doctor knows it. Fairly simple.

Medications are costly as are co payments at the doctor's office; besides, who really wants a caustic doctor asking why you're so upset over your missing boots--all you really want is someone to empathize and make you feel better.

While some opt for cheaper medications like a bottle of two buck chuck, others gravitate towards activities or things that make a person insta-happy. Things that people secretly get a freaky high off of like pulling blades of grass from the yard or muting reality television and adding your own lines.

Some people like Disneyland and I don't blame them. The second you walk into the park you want to eat the benches because everything smells like an edible gingerbread house. Minus the strollers obtrusively jabbing you in the shins, smelly tourists and the detestable lack of English spoken, people still find resonance in all that.

Others run. They run for miles and days until they are so soar they sleep in a tub of ice. It's liberating, yes, especially running across such places like the Golden Gate Bridge as bikers harp at you because they are on the LEFT or the RIGHT or BEHIND YOU. Relaxing.

Some eat lavish meals that involve an aged wine to make while others drown sorrows in a lake of half melted Chubby Hubby while parked in front of a Friends marathon. Yes, your boyfriend is not answering his phone, again, but at least get low fat since this tends to be a re-occurrence.

Others shop. Shopping relieves the kind of stress that only Victoria Beckham has. Waking up to David Beckham, spending a disposable income, having the nanny dress the kids for school while she works out; I wouldn't be able to get out of bed either.

There are so many obvious ways to relieve bereaved emotion and stress other than a talking a pricey pill . Some say just smiling will brighten your mood or just dancing around--because men love dancing around to the latest dance hit.

If self loathing in a Godiva chocolate box is your Prozac then so be it. Come on, everyone has their own Prozac.

Think we are in a recession? Just go to Disneyland to be proven otherwise. Nothing about the theme park remotely hints economic downturn.

There are no bread lines; no sack lunches—beside my own—or any children in tears over parent’s refusal of buying them light sabers and needless souvenirs.

Indicators that we aren’t in a recession point to these factors at the happiest place on Earth.

Disney knows how to market itself and also knows who its buyers are. Those buyers are ones who have money, the kind of money that indeed grows on trees in faraway lands. The kind of buyers who will fly into John Wayne Airport on their private jets and stay for days at Disney Resorts (okay, maybe not private jets, just first class). Their customers live lavish lives, go on extensive vacations on Disney cruise lines or even visit their sisters parks in Paris or Tokyo. Because Disney knows these are their customers, they waste no time catering to their every need.

Being a Disney customer is like holding a membership to a country club. You get fun catalog's in the mail, wear their gear while visiting the premise and enjoy their fine dining.

Throughout the theme park, visitors are adorned in head to toe outfits with each piece containing Mickey or another Disney character on it. If you thought denim suits were out, you are poorly mistaken. Denim pants, with matching denim jackets and hats containing mouse ears recognizable to even the blind decorate the clothing.

Three night stays at the park are a must for travelers from afar. The Sheraton across the street is one thing; however, The Grand California Hotel is quite the contraire. These rooms are not filled with couples; they are filled with families of four or more and you bet they are trying out every restaurant the hotel has to offer.

These travelers do not bring snacks or pack a cooler with goodies from the grocery store. They eat breakfast, lunch and dinner as well as snacks and desert in and on Disney grounds. They are feasting on lavish buffet breakfasts at their hotel, lunches in cafes on Main Street and dining in eloquent restaurants like Club 33.

Don't forget the clever notion Disney has in fanning scents through airways making people want to eat the inedible. I am sure Disney would make even more money if they provided a roped off section of the park that was fully edible, all the way down to the cash register.

The best treats are at the entrance, because there is no greater fear than a child seeing a candy apple looking like Donald Duck and bawling because they want it. Parents avoid this by buying the candy apple, as well as its sister and brother sweets and many other upsetting candies and snacks if not bought at the beginning (middle and end) of the day.

Kids are not crying because they aren't getting toys, they are crying because they don't want to leave. Why? Leaving consists of a place that doesn't involve toy stores, candy stores and big furry characters high fiving them. Crying while Mommy drag's them out on Winnie the Pooh leashes, they are all dressed up in princess costumes and face paint while waving glowing objects that spin, talk and sparkle.

If the park is filled with thousands daily, these people are out in the world spending money frivolously aiding to the economical upturn. On top of its theme parks and film revenues, Disney and ABC in part are thriving with hit television shows like Lost, Desperate Housewives and that ridiculous Dancing with the Stars. Disney is thriving and it will most likely continue to do so. Whoever said Big Brother is watching got it all wrong. It's those big black ears and that uncanny laugh we need to watch out for.

Source: CNN

Read my posts on Examiner here

When crushing turns into stalking:

"She magically appears in places you are. Funny seeing her in the paleontology section of your library where you chose to study because it is dark, quiet and there is one desk hidden in the corner. Not"

Places to meet a twenty-someone in Anaheim:

"Ever feel like you are looking in all the wrong places for a significant other? Guess what, you most likely are."

After seeing a commercial for the new Victoria’s Secret bra--the Miraculous Push-up--saying it adds two cup sizes, I instantly laughed at a memory of what a friend told me. He mentioned there is no worse thing than false advertising and I completely agree.

Who likes being told they are going to receive a $100 bill then upon receiving it, it turns out to be Monopoly money? Exactly.

What on earth is up with faux beauty these days? Do men really enjoy the artificial exterior most women are dawning?

Being a woman, I see the ins and outs of freaky body enhancers on infomercials and well, people I encounter. From fake hair, eyelashes, bra padding, fingernails, body shape-wear and tanning, I wonder what will be next: a self adhesive mask that comes with a full face of makeup and color contacts that dissolves when adding warm water at night?

I can’t imagine men liking this; I could be wrong though. It is all phony marketing. I would hate to be in love with someone’s hair and then while running my hands through it, a chunk comes out or a laceration is formed from a glued in clip.

Wearing lashes don’t look natural on anyone unless they are those expensive ones that are semi-permanent; I know men can tell the difference between fake and real: especially if one falls into your drink while you are on a date, or one is stuck in your hair. Classy. It's one thing to wear them for costumes or huge events, but everyday attire should be left to socks.

It is mid November and yet people are so tan it looks painful. Yes, it’s nice to have color, but what won't be nice are those medical bills for skin cancer treatments in a few years. So the advent of spray tanning and self tanning is healthier, sure, but it doesn’t look natural by any means. Orange is not the new olive skin tone. It comes off on clothing too; I would hate to get my knee prints on someone’s sheets.

All this body shape wear is beginning to really scare me. Walking through the mall, I noticed an entire store completely devoted to this stuff. Imagine nude body suits with lines on them looking like marks a plastic surgeon left all over your body. Yes, it may have taken two inches off your waist but what happens when you are getting down to the nitty gritty with someone and they find that? I hope you brought scissors because a guy is not going to have the first clue what to do.

So I have to ask all the men out there: Do these things turn you on or off? I am a woman and they turn me off. I would never want to find out a guy I am with really doesn't have a five o' clock shadow after the adhesive melts and it slides down his neck.

I say be yourself. At the end of the day, you are going to have to come clean, literally, so why not start now?

'Tis the season for gift giving for no holiday is quite as fun as one you can receive presents on. Thanksgiving is great, but it lacks stockings full of bathroom condiments (at least that’s what I get).

Let's face it; Christmas has become a four month debacle beginning in September when that first ornament is on display at local drug stores.

Kelsey Ramos of the LA Times discusses the Oprah effect on Holiday shopping beginning a bit too soon. In October, Oprah aired a show discussing stores that were distributing coupons for 50 percent off their entire stock until the end of October.

"This time many are wondering if Oprah's featured offer is just an early example of the acceleration of Black Friday's rabid consumerism," said Ramos. "All this, and Halloween hasn't even arrived yet."

Target had Halloween items on clearance a week and a half before October 31st. Winter paraphernalia adorned the store while holiday items were placed at the front of racks.

This act of gift giving seems to hasten every year leaving two things: very gifted people or very envious people.

Last year's Oprah show of her "favorite things" consisted of ridiculous items like $800.00 video cameras, a set of cupcakes from Williams-Sonoma--a store that just smells pricery--for $59 and a Clarisonic skin care system for almost $200. Nothing says Christmas quite like an electric skin care system does.

My question is: haven't people heard of devil's food cake? It costs about $1.97 at local supermarkets. If you are afraid of poor attempts at Martha Stewart recipes this holiday season, then go buy icing bags for decorating and call it a day. Who in their right mind buys nine cupcakes for $59 as a gift? The answer is a plethora of middle aged housewives. If I am spending $59 on anything it’s definitely a steak dinner at Morton’s.

After Oprah wheels these out on a cart, divulges in one while ooing and ahing over its decadence (it’s almost taboo to watch), she then has her little elves--assistants--carry an array of cakes out on a silver tray for her audience. They then chime in with an uproar of frenzied screaming, jumping, as well as possible passing out and there you have it America: consumerism at its finest. Williams-Sonoma cupcake business rose by 90 percent last Christmas.

Personally, I enjoy gifts that mean something. Gifts like soap on a rope from distant family members or gifts that somehow got re-gifted in my own family. It's always nice opening something you gave to an Aunt twelve years ago.

While I open boxes from Nordstrom's that contain puzzles from Wal-Mart as others receive $59 cupcakes, I am reminded that there's just nothing quite like the holidays.

After all, it's not Christmas until you are watching the news and it's suddenly interrupted by a commercial consisting of Oprah shouting:

“It's that tiiiiiime againnnnnnn!”
Photo by Wendy Alas

"A man should never hit on girls in a parking lot. People are in parking lots for three reasons: arrival, departure and theft."

Read the rest at of this article at Examiner



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