Friday, October 23, 2009

Baby boomers gone wild

Christina K at Debut art

While stalking old High School classmates on Facebook and chatting with some friends, you get a notification in the bottom right corner saying you have a new friend request. With joy like a child on Christmas morning you immediately click the notice to see who is befriending you.

With intense momentum you wait as now, your Internet decides to go slowly. All you can hear is the pounding of your heart because the anticipation is killing you. Maybe it’s someone you just met recently that you thought was cute or perhaps someone who is your number one fan?

No. It’s your mom. Cue Psycho theme song. You can see the twins pedaling towards you from The Shining. To add or not to add?

You begrudgingly accept after quickly reviewing your profile to make sure there is nothing lewd. Looking at her profile just raises your stress level. Status updates are actually attempted comments to other friends, pictures are saved images from Google of kittens and Disney Princesses because she doesn’t know how to upload pictures. Cowering at her activities and interests, you wonder who this person is and why she shared her interest for trashy romance novels and Jon Bon Jovi.

Parents, grandparents, relatives, your dentist, you name it, are quickly adapting to our lifestyles. There was a time when parents knew their place in the world: going to work, cooking dinner, helping with homework, and tucking us in at night…parent things.

Now Dad is text messaging you—using phrases like LOL and WTF—Mom is singing loudly to Beyonce and watching The Hills.

They are quietly studying your social networking sights which you don’t believe they know how to do until one night at dinner Mom slips something about Rum and how much you like it; something she wouldn’t know had she not seen a picture of you kissing a bottle of Bacardi.

They are talking about celebrities because they saw that Scarley Johannes and Justy Timberwood on Oprah and now feel they know everything about them; yet can never get their names right.

Television program blocking should come for parents too. Stick to the View; MTV is for a 15- year-old girl plastering Zac Effron posters on her walls.

Saying things like “WTF,” is not okay, no matter what. If anything, you should be trying to speak grammatically correct to teach your offspring that language is not okay. Your 24 year old son needs to stop saying "LOL" while conversing with other adults as well.

They are here to stay, on the Internet that is. Just be sure to hide your Teen Vogue and Seventeen subscriptions; I'd hate to see someone over the age of 40 try out ripped skinny jeans and slouchy beanies.

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