Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Good People are Boring


The Safe Place by the Little Fox

How often do you find yourself in awkward moments of silence after a conversation goes from a simple hello, to talking about a dentist visit the previous week?

Then you pause as you try to relate something to the persons distaste for new toothpaste used in the office but fail. You then realize for the past ten seconds all you thought about was what you're going to make for dinner.

Most likely, I won't remember dentist guy two years down the road, let alone two weeks; however, I will remember a woman who stops me for a dollar simply because she is covered in tattoo's, wearing a fanny pack and dragging a child with a teddy bear backpack leash behind her.

People who are good--let's face it--are not as interesting. And by good, I mean goes to bed by 11 on a work night, makes sack lunches daily and can honestly tell their dentist they floss twice a day.

Talking to someone who has been in the drunk tank two or three times or posted bail for an alleged assault against their boyfriend animates my mind much more than hearing about an engagement or bah mitzvah; those happen all the time (so does the boyfriend assault, but give or take, it’s entertaining).

I can either walk away from that person with an example of someone I never want to amount to while laughing at them--not with them of course--or a great story to pass on for generations and all my friends at work.

An article in Psychology Today said people who take risks have a much healthier approach to life.

"Misbehaving, or acting in ways we'd normally deem improper can be good for our souls," said Rebecca Webber. "It can boost our mood, leave us with a sense of liberation, get our creative juices flowing, and make for great memories."

Someone who continually does what they presume is right is not having nearly as much fun as Hector, the janitor, who parachuted off a bridge yesterday out of the blue, just because.

What great stories people have that live their lives in the moment; I never want to be someone who discusses how mundane the new fall programming is on ABC at dinner parties: yawn.

I want to share crazy, ridiculous stories until I die about things not everyone can experience: like when I was on the Muni one afternoon with a friend and it halted to a stop from 60 to zero in two seconds in the tunnel. What a sight the passengers were. I re-create that scene from time to time out of pure enjoyment.

Boring people also lead to prediction. I have some friends that I can forlay an entire conversation because I know exactly how they will begin and end a phone call. That is, my friends, how boring some of you are. Yes, you. I don’t enjoy already knowing what is going to come out of the mouths of most; I like to be surprised. I like to learn of new adventures to partake in or crazy ideas. I thrive in hearing ridiculous stories that seem unreal. I envy those who get no sleep in the name of fun; I try but often lose in the case of sanity.

I am not saying go out and get a Mike Tyson tattoo on your face. I'm only insisting driving somewhere other than home after clocking out at five. Monday through Friday doesn't have to be routine. Pulling out a dinner labeled “Tuesday,” when you get home means you’re in trouble. Now no one really wants to run into you boring man.

"The healthy approach to misbehavior, experts agree, is to occasionally break rules, norms, or expectations in ways that don't cause any serious harm," Webber said.

I guess if you really want great stories so you can write awesome books like O.J. Simpson, then go ahead and murder your wife because if I did it, I would surely tell. Otherwise stick to mixing in simpler things; stuff that keep my interest when I bump into you occasionally.

The fact that your cat needs insulin shots is not that intriguing. I can only talk about that for so long until my attention is diverted to an ant hill behind you; which says a whole lot about your day.

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