Fueling the Careers of Thousands

Fueling the Careers of Thousands

5/27/09

Terry Richardson

So many people say we can't live without celebrities. I beg to differ. I think I will make due if I do not see Lindsey Lohans deranged body parts on the cover of every tabloid at the grocery check out. If grocery stores want to make money, I would suggest removing such magazines while people are placing food items on a conveyor belt. The thought of her coked out body parts looking over my yogurt and sorbet is nauseating.

I say, celebrities can't live without us. We are the people that make them who they are. We make them the "sexiest people on earth," the "top 100," etc.

We are the ones watching Behind the Music or Diary or Newlyweds. Ugh. We're reading their blogs, feeding their twitter accounts, giving bread to those two geese that swim in the MTV pond: Spencer Pratt and his accessory Heidi Montag.

We give in to these reality shows; allowing them to have all day marathons, corrupting the minds of millions of adolescents. We are allowing regular "Joe-six-packs" to become quasi famous and for no reason. Who are these John and Kate plus eight? I never watch their show on TLC, but now because the rest of America does I have to hear about their divorce and affair whenever I turn on the TV, open a homepage or go to a magazine rack. I-don't-care.

Whatever happened to movie makers making movies, and musicians making music? Now everyone has to have perfume lines, clothing lines, grills, books--don't even get me started on the books they write--and the list goes on. We consume, they produce more, get bigger, nastier, more authoritative and then we end up with the ones who think it's okay to spew word vomit into news casts about their stance on certain issues. They think because they are the ones with the golden statues, we should have to listen to their 15 minute riotous accusations towards organizations or groups of people.

Celebrities would have nothing to do if it weren't for us self depreciating individuals that would rather watch their lives unravel into a timeless mess on nighttime television; as opposed to reading a book or doing something constructive, of course.

I guess they would resort to real jobs like the rest of us, but instead, they get to sit on their ass and go about normal daily activity while camera crews record: Kim Kardashian, cough cough. Can I ask who she was before that heinous TV show on E!? Again, can I ask who she is now? What does she even do besides endorse products and date a football player? Nothing.

So without us, they are no one. We give them their names and job title, their segway for international discussion on issues and inappropriate moments for narcissism like calling paparazzi ahead so we can view your Hawaiian getaway in every magazine for a week. Admit it, you are nothing without us.