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Terry Richardson


So many people say we can't live without celebrities. I beg to differ. I think I will make due if I do not see Lindsey Lohans deranged body parts on the cover of every tabloid at the grocery check out. If grocery stores want to make money, I would suggest removing such magazines while people are placing food items on a conveyor belt. The thought of her coked out body parts looking over my yogurt and sorbet is nauseating.

I say, celebrities can't live without us. We are the people that make them who they are. We make them the "sexiest people on earth," the "top 100," etc.

We are the ones watching Behind the Music or Diary or Newlyweds. Ugh. We're reading their blogs, feeding their twitter accounts, giving bread to those two geese that swim in the MTV pond: Spencer Pratt and his accessory Heidi Montag.

We give in to these reality shows; allowing them to have all day marathons, corrupting the minds of millions of adolescents. We are allowing regular "Joe-six-packs" to become quasi famous and for no reason. Who are these John and Kate plus eight? I never watch their show on TLC, but now because the rest of America does I have to hear about their divorce and affair whenever I turn on the TV, open a homepage or go to a magazine rack. I-don't-care.

Whatever happened to movie makers making movies, and musicians making music? Now everyone has to have perfume lines, clothing lines, grills, books--don't even get me started on the books they write--and the list goes on. We consume, they produce more, get bigger, nastier, more authoritative and then we end up with the ones who think it's okay to spew word vomit into news casts about their stance on certain issues. They think because they are the ones with the golden statues, we should have to listen to their 15 minute riotous accusations towards organizations or groups of people.

Celebrities would have nothing to do if it weren't for us self depreciating individuals that would rather watch their lives unravel into a timeless mess on nighttime television; as opposed to reading a book or doing something constructive, of course.

I guess they would resort to real jobs like the rest of us, but instead, they get to sit on their ass and go about normal daily activity while camera crews record: Kim Kardashian, cough cough. Can I ask who she was before that heinous TV show on E!? Again, can I ask who she is now? What does she even do besides endorse products and date a football player? Nothing.

So without us, they are no one. We give them their names and job title, their segway for international discussion on issues and inappropriate moments for narcissism like calling paparazzi ahead so we can view your Hawaiian getaway in every magazine for a week. Admit it, you are nothing without us.
Everywhere I go, iPhones are glued to ears and hands; you would think those things are whispering the winning Lottery numbers or something considering people don't look up from them unless a car screeches to its halt.

For a world that is so connected, I find it odd how disconnected we all are.

The Internet, connecting us to everything, allows us to talk to relatives across the globe in a second via video or Skype. IPhones can tell you you're on the corner of Lincoln and Tustin and the nearest Del Taco is 0.4 miles away; however, in the midst of all that, where has this technological prelation gotten us?

Well, we no longer function as normal human-conversing-beings anymore, that's for sure. No one calls each other or asks people out in person--it is done over a text or worse: social networking. Lame.

Student's take "bathroom" breaks to text or do whatever. Class units are earned while playing Tetris. Relationships got a whole lot steamier with the ability to text naughty pictures to each other. Ugh.

People get crazy over social networking profiles; stalker ex-girlfriend kind of crazy. Tagged photos have ruined reputations while producing others. Homework is eluded for adding bumper stickers with witty caricatures of South Park to friends profiles. Celebrity voyeurism has surpassed news coverage for the late teen and early 20 age group.

I'll admit, I have taken to much of my technology for friendly invites and what not...but it escapes me completely how transverse and interpersonal everything has gotten. Sometimes a phone call is easier then texting the whole story of how you met the man of your dreams. It just gets awkward when the end of your sentence arrives before the beginning of your story: "yes, only after I realized he was the cheese to my macaroni."

What?

"He got down on one knee and I said..."

Oh, okay.

How did this happen? How did this sublime universe go backwards when it was in full force for so many years? Its like the brick is off the pedal. We are all so consumed in consumerism that we just want, want, want. What is next? What is better? What happened to being unique? We are becoming robotic products of Apple and yes, while they are cool, iPhones have become lifelines. There was a time when people left their house without e-mail.

It amazes me how so many people can constantly update their lives via Twitter or Facebook, yet they can't even tell you what is going on in the White House. You have that stupid thing--with all 1800 of its applications--utilize them at least! Don't bind yourself to Facebook only. You have the world at your hand, the only thing that little Steve Wozniak can't do is make a latte, yet.

Books are not even read normally anymore; who wants to hold a handheld device that turns pages for you? Well, I guess a lot of people because the Kindle is making money. It lacks the organic appeal of pages and times new roman at hand. I guess some people prefer to be all inclusive digital.

A few years ago I pondered how technology could exceed a CD-Rom and a Nokia cell phone that you could change the covers. Little did I know Facebook would take over the world one college student at a time and "crackberries," I mean BlackBerries, would be the new Wonder bread.

All I am asking is that you reattach yourself to this world you were brought into. Chances are, when something really bad happens, it will be while you are updating your MySpace profile, via iPhone that is.

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