A wedding. Something that used to be so ideal and so simple has been turned into fanatical pandemonium.

To me, a wedding is a marriage - a consummation between two people who love each other. Not a huge show like what the WE network puts on daily.

When I was little, I used to think I wanted a wedding that consisted of the pope himself, the Sistine Chapel, an 18 tier cake and of course, a Zach Morris-esq character at the end of the aisle. However, what is all that for? Or should I say, who is that all for?

Why do we feel the need to put on extravagant performances with planned dances, meals, speeches, etc. Everything is on a schedule. Everything is so planned out ahead of time...where is the surprise factor?

A wedding is a party, a marriage is a lifetime, blah blah blah and whatever else your Mom tells you, however, the marriage-your marriage (if you choose to wed) is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. How can it be when you are worried about the chrysanthemums being in place and the meat being too rare.

All this Martha Stewart (granted, I do love her craft-y-ness) wedding talk is just too much for me these days. If I had it my way, I would use all my money to buy the best dress on Earth, which to me does NOT involve eight pounds of tool, lace and pearls, and whatever else brides are wearing, and walk down an aisle that does not consist of strangers - people I only talk to on holidays or birthdays - and get hitched the good ol' fashioned way, eat cake, that maybe your Great Aunt Rose made, and be happy. I mean, really happy.

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