Friday, October 14, 2016

Life Updates N' Stuff

Jane Birkin


Oh my gosh, hey. It's been a while since I've blogged on here. TBT to my early twenties when this was bursting with awful dating stories I don't wish to rehash and passive aggressive letters to guys that broke my heart. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

When I first started this blog, blogging was so cool. In fact, it was the shit. This was before Snapchat and Instagram, and now when I send a tweet about a new post, it gets totally loss in the abyss because Twitter has changed.

My very first post on here dates back to May of 2008, and no, do not look for it because it's God awful. But it's pretty awesome to look back on the posts I've shared, the contributions from you guys and the countless tears I've shed over lame dudes.

So, if you were wondering what I've been up to since the posts began to run dry, I've been working a full-time career in the marketing world as a copywriter... mostly for television. Working a lot leaves me little time to brain vomit on here after long work weeks because by the time the weekend hits, all I cant think about is sleep. My alcohol tolerance has dropped at a staggering rate, so instead of the usual handful of vodka tonics it used to take me to get white girl wasted, one glass of wine has me prank calling Costco to ask if they have a discount on coffins in no time.

I've hit the point in my life where I wish I wore more eye cream/sunscreen/lotion/full body coverups in my early twenties to prevent skin cancer, and think I see gray hairs all the time.

I'm also a mom now... to a sassy little corgi, and I've been in a serious relationship for almost five years. In fact, we recently we got engaged.

And that's it! I'd love to make a big statement about how I'll start blogging more on here, but come on. Let's be real. I'm not a stay-at-home corgi mom. I'm a working mom.





Wednesday, June 15, 2016

WCW: Julianne Moore in Magnolia


Can we take a moment to appreciate Julianne Moore in Magnolia? That haircut. That coat. That lipstick. Everything. I'm feelin' it. And on top of all this, she honestly looks the same today to me (the movie was released in 1999).




Monday, June 13, 2016

Deep Thoughts on Losing a Soul Mate

Celine Dion Wedding Husband Cancer Deep Thoughts on Losing a Soul Mate


This is a blog post I've had saved in my drafts for a while because I didn't really know what to say about it, I just knew how it made me feel.

A few months ago I read an article about Celine Dion's husband who was dying from throat cancer. In the article, Celine detailed his illness and what was to come in his final days, but what struck me most was what he told her before he died: "Rene says to me, 'I want to die in your arms.'"

How's that for hitting you right in the feels?

This brought tears to my eyes then, and still does today, because reading that made me not only empathize for her, but it made me think hard about true love.

It made me realize true love is more than saying "I love you," it's recognizing you can't live without someone, and feeling heartbreak over the thought of not having that person wake up beside you, or laugh over the same stupid joke someday.

Watching your soul mate die in your arms has to be the biggest challenge life can hand you. Celine's a rock.

Monday, June 6, 2016

Should you text your ex?

Should You Text Your Ex Flowchart

Keep this in your back pocket for the next time you down a bottle of sauv blanc and find yourself about to hit send on a likely regrettable text.

And in case you're wondering, the answer is pretty much always "no," unless you're in jail and the only phone number you can remember is his. And even that's pushing it.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Relationships that Haunt Your Memories

Holding Hands Dating


Do you ever feel haunted by bad relationships in your past? Even if they weren't long relationships, even if you just dated for a few weeks, or one time, do you ever have painfully haunting memories that are brought on by the mere mention of that person's name? I do.

Let's bond.

I am haunted by someone I dated. And the sad part? It was years ago. I know. Stop judging. I feel bad enough.

CosmoGirl never taught me the right stuff. It was always: "Beauty Products That Drive Him Wild" or "Seven Different Ways to Get His Attention Between Classes...smiley face.” But what I really needed were some articles like "Reasons You Should Listen to Your Instincts About Someone Even If He's Cute and Charming Because He's Not Right For You (And Stop Checking Your Horoscope For Signs He is Right For You)."

So for years, no thanks to CosmoGirl, I've been rudely reminded of my inability to stop pursuing this person far past our expiration date. Like when I'm listening to music and some dumb song comes on that he told me to listen to because I’d "loooove it," I'm reminded. Or when I'm passed out on the couch covered in Doritos crumbs and awoken by a TV show he tried to get me to watch, I'm reminded again. It's fucking annoying.

Why am I so bothered, you ask? Because of what our "situation" became. Because even though I knew deep down he was so not right for me and that this thing, whatever it was, wasn’t going anywhere thanks to blatant signs, I wanted it to work.... because sometimes being a woman makes no logical sense.

So, like one of those girls in that He's Just Not Into You book, I continued to stick around. I know what you're thinking... but here's why: I liked the chase. When we met he was all up on this but I wanted nothing to do with him. Then the second I finally came to and had feelings, he was crushin' on another girl and I was not having it.

I also latched onto the memory of the beginning of our relationship: those first few euphoric, honeymoon-esque weeks you date someone. You know, when everything is all care-free and fun and you're exchanging letterman jackets? Meanwhile, I was ignoring pulsing questions in my mind like "did he just check out another girl in front of me?" and "Is it me, or is he kind of irresponsible?" and also, "the fact that he doesn't text me back for a day or so is kind of rude."

So it should be no shock that in the midst of all this, the not-so-unthinkable happened: he called it off (because it wasn't working, duh).

HOW DARE YOU, I thought. How dare you break things off before I do. How dare you break things off even though I didn't like you that much anyway because it seemed like you had no plan for your future...the nerve.

I knew someone had to pull the plug, but I just wanted to be the person to do it, obviously. I was equal parts pissed and heartbroken. And because I didn't pull the plug when I should have, I'm now haunted by my own doing, or lack of doing I guess, and am left with the memories of how I disregarded all the signs that it was over, and let some guy take me along for the ride.

So there you have it people. That's what haunts me.

*This is a repost from 2013 because it's still v v v relevant to everyone.
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