Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Relationships that Haunt Your Memories

Holding Hands Dating

Do you ever feel haunted by bad relationships in your past? Even if they weren't long relationships, even if you just dated for a few weeks, or one time, do you ever have painfully haunting memories that are brought on by the mere mention of that person's name? I do.

Let's bond.

I am haunted by someone I dated. And the sad part? It was years ago. I know. Stop judging. I feel bad enough.

CosmoGirl never taught me the right stuff. It was always: "Beauty Products That Drive Him Wild" or "Seven Different Ways to Get His Attention Between Classes...smiley face.” But what I really needed were some articles like "Reasons You Should Listen to Your Instincts About Someone Even If He's Cute and Charming Because He's Not Right For You (And Stop Checking Your Horoscope For Signs He is Right For You)."

So for years, no thanks to CosmoGirl, I've been rudely reminded of my inability to stop pursuing this person far past our expiration date. Like when I'm listening to music and some dumb song comes on that he told me to listen to because I’d "loooove it," I'm reminded. Or when I'm passed out on the couch covered in Doritos crumbs and awoken by a TV show he tried to get me to watch, I'm reminded again. It's fucking annoying.

Why am I so bothered, you ask? Because of what our "situation" became. Because even though I knew deep down he was so not right for me and that this thing, whatever it was, wasn’t going anywhere thanks to blatant signs, I wanted it to work.... because sometimes being a woman makes no logical sense.

So, like one of those girls in that He's Just Not Into You book, I continued to stick around. I know what you're thinking... but here's why: I liked the chase. When we met he was all up on this but I wanted nothing to do with him. Then the second I finally came to and had feelings, he was crushin' on another girl and I was not having it.

I also latched onto the memory of the beginning of our relationship: those first few euphoric, honeymoon-esque weeks you date someone. You know, when everything is all care-free and fun and you're exchanging letterman jackets? Meanwhile, I was ignoring pulsing questions in my mind like "did he just check out another girl in front of me?" and "Is it me, or is he kind of irresponsible?" and also, "the fact that he doesn't text me back for a day or so is kind of rude."

So it should be no shock that in the midst of all this, the not-so-unthinkable happened: he called it off (because it wasn't working, duh).

HOW DARE YOU, I thought. How dare you break things off before I do. How dare you break things off even though I didn't like you that much anyway because it seemed like you had no plan for your future...the nerve.

I knew someone had to pull the plug, but I just wanted to be the person to do it, obviously. I was equal parts pissed and heartbroken. And because I didn't pull the plug when I should have, I'm now haunted by my own doing, or lack of doing I guess, and am left with the memories of how I disregarded all the signs that it was over, and let some guy take me along for the ride.

So there you have it people. That's what haunts me.

*This is a repost from 2013 because it's still v v v relevant to everyone.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

February Feels

Girl on roller skates dancing

And just like that we're in February. The holidays are long over, but some of us still have some Christmas decorations up (guilty, but calm down, it's just a plain green wreath that could totally pass as a winter accent. I hope), and we're finally getting to those New Year's resolutions. Finally.

So on that note, here's what's inspiring me this month!

Red art

Reformation jacket

1970s fashion

pink mattress

quote about dating boys

hula hooping

valentine's day teddy bear gag gift

new york fashion week red

pink staircase

movie theater

Red lip art

red nail art

bianca jagger

red neon sign

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Video: Exes Getting Closure

If you could ask your ex what bothered him/her about you, why they ended things, when they felt like it was over, and whatever else you're losing sleep over, would you do it? Personally, sitting in flea-covered grass naked sounds more fun, but that's just me.

It's such a rare thing to get closure after a breakup. Shit happens, excuses are given, and so many questions are left unanswered leaving you drowning in with your own thoughts, but these exes did it, and it sort of hurt to watch.

I guess I wouldn't do it because I'd rather not know the truth; there's that 75% chance the truth is what you don't want it to be and I'd prefer to continue living in my dream world that consists of a talking dolphin with Oprah-like qualities who tells me I'm pretty.

Have a watch and let me know your thoughts below.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Famous Couples Halloween Costumes

michael jackson lisa marie presley

Halloween is right about the corner and you're probably only reading this if you swore this is the year you'd FINALLY stop dressing up, but then you received a work email out about a costume contest where the winner gets a $25 Jamba Juice gift card, and now your college friend is suddenly throwing a last minute bring your own beer, snacks, wine, liquor, dessert, toilet paper, hand soap, and water Halloween extravaganza where NO ONE can enter without a costume party so you have to dress up this year.

So, on that note, I give you my list of couples costumes that might win you a gift card.

1. Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie: SUCH a classic people. This can easily be achieved with the right toy soldier jacket and set of pin curls. What will really sell this costume is if you walk around the party making out in the middle of large crowds for a few seconds, and just as everyone starts applauding you, stop and smile bashfully (re: MTV VMAs 1994 for inspo).

britney spears justin timberlake halloween

2. Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake in matching denim ensembles: this look can be achieved by taking all your old Abercrombie & Fitch jeans that you've been saving since high school in hopes that super low rise bell bottoms will come back in style, and sewing them all together in a misshapen mess. Top it off with some of Claire's Accessories' finest rhinestone jewelry from the prom/quinceanera department and call yourselves an early 2000s pop sensation!

johnny baby patrick swayze dirty dancing costume

3. Johnny and Baby in Dirty Dancing: oh, yes. There are so many Dirty Dancing looks to steal from this movie, so whatever you choose, just make sure every 20 minutes you run and jump into your date's arms as he lifts you above his shoulders like you're a little feather.

Grease halloween costume

4. Danny and Sandy in Grease: pretty sure everyone at some point has wanted an excuse to pour themselves into this black on black getup Olivia Newton-John wore in Grease. What are you waiting for? Now's your chance! Halloween is as good of an excuse to wear this as shopping in a Topshop on a Saturday afternoon.

don better draper halloween costume

 5. Don and Better Draper of Mad Men: again, super easy to achieve. Grab a vintage dress from a local thrift store, tease your hair into a bouffant, and then Google John Hamm's home address, break into his house, and hold him hostage as your date for the night. You might want one of those fancy cigarette holders too, but other than that, you're all set!

full house aunt becky uncle jesse halloween costume

6. Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky of Full House: a plaid shirt or plain white tee and a vest has Uncle Jesse in the bag, and some high wasted jeans and a turtleneck will turn you into Aunt Becky in no time. Caveat: this costume is easily mistaken for American Apparel employees, so just make sure you're shouting "have mercy" every few minutes.

ross rachel halloween costume

7. Ross and Rachel of Friends: this is a no-brainer. Just dig through all those clothes you saved from your Delias/Limited Too/Anchor Blue days, give yourself a good blow out, and throw an oversized sweater and light wash jeans on your guy. Bonus points if you draw whiskers on yourself and go as Ross and Rachel in Vegas.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

End of Summer Reads


The end of summer is near, and if you're like me, you probably had a long list of books to read and only made a dent in one or two because catching up on The Bachelorette took their place.

So in honor of the few weeks you have left of summer, or just reading in general, here are a few books I highly recommend.

South of the Border, West of the Sun: I've only just begun diving in to Murakami after everyone and their mom was flipping out over him on social media, and I must say, I'm glad I did. His words are poetic as they follow the story of a boy growing into a man, who eventually longs for the one that got away in Tokyo.

Nicknames: Who doesn't have horrid dating stories they've buried deep in the back of their mind? Well, Mary Geneva does too and she documented her dating tales from New York in this book. This might make you laugh, or cringe, because it hits too close to home, but her lessons on love are not ones to forget.

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar: GUYS, this book is my bible. Not only is Cheryl Strayed a fantastic storyteller because she has been through so much, but her advice on love and life is moving. Warning: keep a box of tissues close, some stories might make you lose it.

My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me: Um, can you imagine? Because this is real. Hilary Winston's boyfriend wrote a book about her, and then she got him back with this amazingly witty in-your-face tell-all. Not only does she touch on the relationship that shall not be named, but she shares even more stories about her exes, work life, and the joys of growing up and dealing with all that gross adult shit.