Thursday, October 5, 2017

Throwback: Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky's Wedding

Throwback: Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky's Wedding

Since I am in full on wedding mode, I thought I'd throw it back to one of the most iconic TV weddings of my childhood, and arguably of all time: Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky's.

Like all truly good fashion, I'm sure it's only a matter of months – or perhaps weeks  – before this look comes back in style. Speaking of which, can we take a moment to reflect on that veil?

Throwback: Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky's Wedding

In realness, I can't imagine our current minimalist society ever bringing back such an over-the-top trend, but if and when we do, I'll be ready. I've got my mom's dress that fits the bill.

I'll leave you with this, but do note that I'm certain the reason her veil was so large was so she had something to wipe her tears with during this:

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

How to Get Through the Month Before Your Wedding

Cindy Crawford Wedding Dress 80s

Nine tips for surviving the month before your wedding without losing all your hair, and only most of your savings:

1. Mix four Xanaxes into a stock pot of vodka and drink every time a vendor springs an extra expense on you.

2. Hold your breath until you pass out to avoid all phone calls. Email, you peasants!

3. Take an ice bath to numb the crippling pain you experience every time you view your credit card statement.

4. Go on a juice cleanse, but replace the juice with Pepto-Bismol to not only ease your nervous stomach, but help you lose weight!

5. Take two Ambiens every four hours to ensure you get plenty of beauty rest leading up to your big day.

6. Throw away whitening strips and instead rinse your mouth with bleach! It's cheaper and far more potent than name brand products, and will still leave you with that beloved throbbing pain.

7. Get that $2,000, 24k gold, baby tear facial Martha Stewart Weddings was talking about, because at this point, what's another few grand?

8. Take care of yourself by eating healthy, balanced meals, like ice chips and raw kale, to ensure you have loads of energy and your dress still fits the day of!

9. Smile every time you think about your wedding, because remember, you could have put a down payment on a house!

Peace be with you.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017


Now that MTV has answered all our prayers by bringing back TRL, I thought I'd get nostalgic for a minute to remind all the youngins what the O.G. music matriarch of cable TV once was. This show paved the way for Carson Daly, it made photo booths cool, and once it even shut down Times Fucking Square when the Backstreet Boys showed up to released Black and Blue. They had to lower the shades, people!

So, please enjoy these photos that only ever graced things like Teen People Magazine, or my binder.

I leave you with the unearthed treasure that is TRL's class of '99 photo.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Vintage Valentine's Day Ads

Valentine's Day, Ad, Marketing, Old Ad, Vintage

One of my favorite things to do is look at old ads and read the messaging on them because they really show a sign of the times. So I dug up some vintage Valentine's Day ads that are sure to make you say "W-T-F," because nothing says "Lollipop" like swinging in your underwear!

Old ads, Valentine's Day, Chocolates, Candy

Coca Cola, Valentine's Day, Old Ads, Vintage Ads

Lollipops, Valentine's Day, Vintage Ads

Pajamas, Vintage Valentine's Day ads

Elizabeth Taylor, Candy, Valentine

And last but not least, my favorite way to apologize. Had to throw this in despite it not being a Valentine's Day ad.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Life Updates N' Stuff

Jane Birkin

Oh my gosh, hey. It's been a while since I've blogged on here. TBT to my early twenties when this was bursting with awful dating stories I don't wish to rehash and passive aggressive letters to guys that broke my heart. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID.

When I first started this blog, blogging was so cool. In fact, it was the shit. This was before Snapchat and Instagram, and now when I send a tweet about a new post, it gets totally loss in the abyss because Twitter has changed.

My very first post on here dates back to May of 2008, and no, do not look for it because it's God awful. But it's pretty awesome to look back on the posts I've shared, the contributions from you guys and the countless tears I've shed over lame dudes.

So, if you were wondering what I've been up to since the posts began to run dry, I've been working a full-time career in the marketing world as a copywriter... mostly for television. Working a lot leaves me little time to brain vomit on here after long work weeks because by the time the weekend hits, all I cant think about is sleep. My alcohol tolerance has dropped at a staggering rate, so instead of the usual handful of vodka tonics it used to take me to get white girl wasted, one glass of wine has me prank calling Costco to ask if they have a discount on coffins in no time.

I've hit the point in my life where I wish I wore more eye cream/sunscreen/lotion/full body coverups in my early twenties to prevent skin cancer, and think I see gray hairs all the time.

I'm also a mom now... to a sassy little corgi, and I've been in a serious relationship for almost five years. In fact, we recently we got engaged.

And that's it! I'd love to make a big statement about how I'll start blogging more on here, but come on. Let's be real. I'm not a stay-at-home corgi mom. I'm a working mom.